10 Tips for Successfully Getting Through College
To become a cognitively engaged multitasker , you must eventually be able to drink beer, watch porn, cry, and masturbate while realizing you're not lonely.
Tag: College
To My Family: Yes, I’m Donating My Body to the College of Liberal Arts
I don’t need my dead body being jabbed into on a cutting board by doctors. I'd rather help the humanities with their flow of corpses.
Trump University Announces Six New Courses for 2017
In "PS 102 - The New Racism" we'll show you how to dismiss any challenge to your racist views—no matter how valid—as liberal "political correctness" run amok.
7 Things Your Guidance Counselor Isn’t Going to Tell You in High School
When you’re young, life gives you promise and hope, maybe even "love" in your heart, At this point, you must realize that your feelings mean nothing.
So Your Professor Dreams All Came Crashing Down in One Ugly Q&A
Bruce stood on the stage of the auditorium drenched in sweat, silently waving with his fake ass smile plastered on while the crowd sat in silence horrified.
How to Get Revenge on Your Roommate Who’s a Protester
I'm not saying that these steps will permanently get rid of YOUR own live-in activist, but for the good of America, shouldn't you at least try?
How to Tell the Discussion in Your Women’s Studies Class is Going Nowhere
Six ways to ascertain if the discussion among politically active millennial women has slipped into an irreversible and possibly dangerous state of mind-numbing dullness.
The Sticky, Enduring Sexism Against Female College Professors
I have long been skeptical of uber-feminists claiming that rampant sexism remains in America. But it is most alive and well among the professoriate on college campuses.
My Erect Freshman Year
My erect penis and I walked to my dorm and mounted the steps of some side entrance. A gaped-mouth sophomore's pupils grew wide at the site of my dong. I had arrived.
5 Valuable Tips for Incoming College Freshman Dudes
The aroma of cargo shorts and freshly purchased lanyards is already filling the air. Here is some first-hand knowledge and advice for incoming freshmen dudes.
My 10-Year College Reunion Weekend
Welcome to reunion weekend. Come catch up with people who didn't make an effort to stay in touch, but claim to love you nonetheless.
An Open Letter to the Kid Who Wears a John Belushi “College” Sweatshirt on the First Day of Classes
We all know that the DVD copy of Animal House that you brought to college was given to you as a present by your younger sister the day before you left.