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Tag: Travel

How am I supposed to get people to think I’m cultured and experienced if I don’t have the selfies with European landmarks to prove it?

Gold Plus-tier now has copay-free pharmaceuticals to treat any gases or poisons accidentally released from the many easily accessible air vents.

We’re not real good at giving directions, so we suggest you stop by the quaint post office off Route 40 (or 14?), and ask for Hank.

I’m not some lame meme for TikTok. I’m a piece of art, dude. I live here! In a museum! Where do you live? A shared one-bedroom in Bushwick?

The bedroom. The native language here has more than 50 known words to mean “anxiety” and the local motto is “we’re totally fucked.”

It is a well-known fact that only the most elite acquire specific, regional, life-threatening diseases as symbols of culture and refinement.

I’d ask someone to save me from this giant octopus, but how do I know their hands aren’t contaminated?

She thinks I forgot what park it was! We walked by it two months ago and she said “Look! Do you remember?” and I said “What?"

A treacherous, smelly laundry pile mountain with its own micro-ecosystem, flora/fauna/foot fungus found nowhere else, and several documentaries.

Wanting to avoid doing three year's worth of laundry, I shall strike out once again, this time to conquer IKEA.

While Thinking About: The tropical rainforest of Rhukanrhuka, Bolivia. You'll Be: Swearing at the deli rat that scampered off with your last Funyun.

It's simple: if a recipe involves fewer than 52 ingredients, you're not allowed to eat it. Or if it takes fewer than 83 steps or 5 hours to prepare.