>>> Ask Nicole
By staff writer Nicole McKaig
January 12, 2005

Dear Nicole,

Don't you think most girls would really love phone sex if they gave it a try? What would be a really good way of going about getting someone to do that. Especially if you don't know them?

-Shane
 

Dear Shane,

I can't think of anything more socially awkward than phone sex…if girls loved it, you wouldn't have to pay for it. Although me and the girls in my dorm loved to sit around dialing up sex hotlines. We'd compete to see who could find the funniest recording of some chick begging us to enter our credit card info. “Mmmm, oh baby…me and my sexy, barely-legal friends are so hot for you… so enter your credit card number…mmm…now! Mmmmmm….. ohh! …Checks not accepted.” If you want to have phone sex with someone you don't know, your best bet is to pay $5.95 for the first minute and $3.95 for each additional minute.

Sincerely,
Nicole

 

 
Dear Nicole,

I have just been informed that I was cheated on by my boyfriend (we broke up but it still hurts). What is the best possible way for sweet, sweet revenge?

-SNC
 

Dear SNC,

The best way is to get on with your life. When he sees that you haven't been destroyed, that you're happy and whole without him, he'll realize what he lost… and that's the best revenge of all.

….Just kidding! I'd go with property defacement.

Sincerely,
Nicole

 

Hey, bitch. The reason you get so many questions to see a complete picture of your body is simply because you are attractive. So why not stop being a lousy *&$%-tease and loosen up a bit. Show us what we want. That way, everyone can be happy imagining %*&^[email protected]$% your @$#& or smacking you across the face with a [email protected]&%.

-Hank
 

Oh, Hank! You're so silly! *Giggle*
 

Dear Nicole,

Do you want some waffles?

-Shane
 

You bastard! *Slap*
 

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