Off-tilt observations of the unnoticed perks of college life, because sometimes a normal, hedonistic experience just isn't enough.

Column Archives | 2008, 2007

March 2008

The Five Stages of Corporate Conformity | 3-17-08
Ever wonder how an employee goes from madness to compliancy at their personal hell of a job? It's the same as the five stages of grief.

January 2008

Work in the Real World | 1-23-08
No longer confined to the arbitrary system of letters and numbers representing your proficiency in college? Prepare for actual job productivity.

Pet Owners are Evil | 1-6-08
You call neutering, leashes, and constricted feeding and pooping a good life? How dare you call your animal slaves pets, human despot!

December 2007

World of Warcraft is Digital Heroin | 12-12-07
It's the cheapest high in the online fantasy game market, and those who succumb to its tempting calls never truly recover.

November 2007

A Day in the Life of J.M. Lucci | 11-14-07
A leisurely Friday is tragically interrupted by the death of a close friend, Anastasia, and the only comfort is Halo 3 and Guitar Hero.

Adventures in Scouting: Finding My Calling | 11-7-07
The “charismatic yet lazy” kid learns the ropes, scouts our the competition, and fights his way out of the dreaded Kitchen Patrol.

October 2007

Ode to College Gamers, Part II | 10-18-07
Three more gamer types, only these controller mashers are slightly more hermitic in lifestyle and anti-social in nature, i.e. super dorks.

Ode to the College Gamers | 10-10-07
Today's most common gamer cliques across America’s campuses: the Halo Fanatic, the Classics-Only Guy, and the Madden Zealot.

A Vagina Too Far | 10-4-07
Commandant Estrogen and her right-hand officer, Major Labia, direct the cunning sexual engagement against Captain Phallus to perfection.

September 2007

The 5 Most Popular Types of Lies | 9-26-07
From harmless to preposterous, it's undeniable that lying plays an important role in our lives. One that the truth just can't

Musings of a Pornoisseur | 9-19-07
A pornoisseur is more a critic than a participant, deciphering the logic behind two chicks kissing, or the chances a cameraman taps that too.

They Call Me Tyrone | 9-12-07
Subway has Jared, PIC has Tyrone. Here's the confounding restaurant backstory that turned this phat boy slim shady.