I’m a procrastinator. I grew up an amateur-crastinator but now I’m a fuckin’ pro.

The hardest part of college for me always was starting my homework. I’d sit down, get out my notes, open the book…..only to decide that I needed to eat, shower, and shit before I could be fully ready to take on my academic obligation. After that, I was fine…..as long as nothing good was on TV. Rare was the time that I started – STARTED – my homework before midnight. This usually led to my staying up until 2 or 3 AM to finish. Surely by then, I’d be ready to go to bed. Right? RIGHT?


I’m such a massive procrastinator, that I have been known to procrastinate from SLEEPING. How Pam-Anderson-in-a-training-bra ridiculous is that? Once you’ve breached the boundary of being too lazy to sleep, you transcend laziness altogether.

“What could possibly keep you up so late?” you hypothetically ask.

I can answer that in one word: the-internet. One improperly hyphenated word. For all the same reasons that the-internet is the world’s single greatest resource for information, it is also the single greatest detriment to productivity (source: the-internet).

I have personally spent enough countless unproductive hours playing online games, reading Points in Case, browsing porn, refreshing box scores, and tooling around on MySpace to know firsthand the allure of the-internet. But, fair reader, I must inform you that it’s only the tip of the iceberg. There’s a whole other world out there. A world that can only be shown to you by StumbleUpon.

StumbleUpon is an add-on for Firefox that allows you to enter categories for websites you’d like to browse and, when you opt to “stumble”, brings up a random page from your list of interests. If you’re like me, you usually stick to the same handful of websites, but check them religiously. StumbleUpon allows you to break out of your scared, little safe-zone and explore corners of the-internet you’d otherwise never see. And it’s addicting. Oh lordy, is it addicting. It’s like snorting nicotine-laced coke off the breasts of a cocktail waitress who’s sprawled out on a craps table…..or so I’ve heard.

Once you’ve stumbled upon a page, you then have the option of giving the page a thumbs-up or thumbs-down rating. Every page given a thumbs-up is then added to your profile, for you to add a review and for other registered users to peruse. I don’t really spend much time messing with my profile though. It only impedes my journey.

Alas, the time has come for me to stumble onward, to blaze an electronic trail through uncharted domains, to re-write the history folder as we know it. A whole new world is out there…..and it’s waiting to be stumbled upon.