Once again, because I am concerned about my bookie’s ability to make his SUV payments, I am picking three games against the spread. I have wagered $50 per game." />
Once again, because I am concerned about my bookie’s ability to make his SUV payments, I am picking three games against the spread. I have wagered $50 per game. I hope that all of you scoring at home will note that, though I’m only .500 this year, it has been a weird year for football gamblers everywhere (the pilot just turned on the “Making Excuses” sign. Please feel free to bitch and whine relentlessly).
Oakland Raiders (-1) over TENNESSEE TITANS
I was surprised to learn that the Titans could come this close to being favored against anyone, even at home. Hopefully, the ghost of Steve McNair Past won’t show up and start scoring touchdowns.
Cleveland Browns (+2) over HOUSTON TEXANS
Come on, I dare anyone out there to bet on the Texans. Go ahead, throw your money away. Oh, and if I lose this one, I will stop gambling for the rest of the year. You hear that, Football Gods? I’m tempting fate and I don’t care. I’m like Jake Plummer in a strip club the day before a game: drunk, presumptuous, unprofessional and stupid. And much like Jake, I still don’t care. Football Gods, you have been dared.
NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (-8) over Buffalo Bills
Why does Buffalo even bother playing road games? You’d think the league would just let them eat a loss every other week so they could shoot for an 8-8 record. Whatever, the bet has been placed.
Total Record: 7 – 7
Total Earnings: -$9