It doesn't matter how well you can brawl, sometimes you can just look at a person and tell, yeah, that person would kick the shit out of me. I think about stuff like this all the time. It's not that I am sizing up people, it's just sober me has to plan out who drunk me can and cannot fight. I think I mentioned it earlier, sober me loves drunk me, and sober me only wants drunk me's best interest. Luckily, I don't have to write "don't fight dad" on my arm because it's been burned in my subconscious. So as I come across people who could beat the shit out of me, I'll update the list I have and you'll be the first people I tell. The first person who makes my list would probably make other peoples lists also.

I know most people wouldn't fight their dads. I sure as hell won't fight mine. It's not because I respect him or anything (which I do have mass respect,) it's because he would flat out leave my ass on the ground. I've watched my brother try to fight my dad on two occasions, once while sober and once while black out drunk, and both ended the same way, which was my brother crying 15 seconds after he swung.

The sheer size of the man is not goof for me either. I'm actually two inches taller than him, I clock in at 5'8", 130 pounds ( and believe me, I know I'm like 50 pounds under weight for my height,) and my dad is 5'6", 180 pounds. It's not 50 pounds of fat he has on me, it's 50 pounds of muscle from lifting and installing gas lines his entire life. He could snap me in half in the blink of an eye, and I have accepted this fact of life. Also, I've seen him take a punch directly to the chin and laugh it off, which scares the shit out of me.

I have a fail safe plan incase things ever becomes heated between us. My dad and I both love Beast Ice and it's out beer of choice. Apparently the sperm doesn't shoot out to far from the nut sack, or something like that. But on night where I drink myself into oblivion, I always do one thing. I save at least one beer to bring home as a peace offering. I figure he would respect that a raging alcoholic has enough respect to save a beer or two for his old man.

So now I have a question; anyone out their ever have the pleasure of fighting their dads? Please let me know. Or if you haven't, tell me why you wouldn't.

 

Song of the Day: Kill Your Lover by Lorene Drive

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