I went to Target tonight because I lost my nail clippers and my toes are tearing up my Beech cotton sheets. Nothing big. Except that affordable clippers are sold in the makeup section.

Im a man of the oughts (00s), so I am not emasculated by walking down the same aisle that happens to hold eye liner. What did baffle me was the price. I bought a pair of nail clippers for $.89. Not bad. Less than a buck. Couldn’t do better at the “I-Barely-Speak-English-And-Coinicidentally-Everything-Is-A-Dollar” Store.

The next step in up in nail clipping technology was $8.19.

It was only about half an inch bigger. And not more impressive than that. Are you women willing to pay that much more for an extra half inch?

I must be worth and extra 2 or 3 bucks.

That’s all I’m saying.