Since I'm chained to a computer with little to do and since football is the only thing that matters in this country, my friends finally convinced me to join their Fantasy Football League. Since none of my friends are literate, and I enjoy sharing my deepest and darkest with you, here's my team thus far:

NAME: Mordor Freemanites


QB-Gambit (kind of femmy, but has kinetic-throwing abilities.)
RB- The Flash
TB- Hagrid (The NFL needs more badass white tailbacks.)
WR-Superman (Flying abilities allow better catches.)
TE-Dar the Beastmaster
Guard-Paul Bunyan
Guard-Conan the Barbarian
Tackle-Rancor (Eating opposing team isn't a penalty right?)
Tackle-King Kong (Just make sure he's away from Godzilla, they might fight.)


Linebacker-Brock Sampson (no superpowers, just tough as hell.)
OLB-The Incredible Hulk
OLB-Hulk Hogan (1980s version of course.)
Tackle-T-1000 (Probably could liquefy through offensive lineman, very handy.)
Defensive End-Alien
Defensive End-Predator
Cornerback-Mr. Fantastic (long arms could intercept wildly thrown passes.)
Cornerback-Bear Grylls (That dude is badass and could easily learn how to play secondary.)
Safety-Morpheus (Has all the necessary abilities of a good safety — calm, fast, motivational speaking skills and cool sunglasses.)
Safety-Kirby Puckett (Should really be on every sports team ever.)

Head Coach-Gandalf (Pretty Good At Strategizing)
Team Doctor-Bones McCoy (Starship Enterprise medicine is far advanced compared to regular on-the-field care. Plus, "Damnit he's a doctor!")
Team Mascot-Whoever Kills the Weird Burger King Commercial Guy (He'd be my hero forever.)
Equipment Manager-Forge from the X-Men (Mutant Power allows him to fix anything.)
Bus Driver-Chris Farley from "Billy Madison." (Probably knows his way around. Doesn't enjoy bananas.)
Merchandising-George Lucas (That guy knows how to market crap.)
Cheerleading Squad-Every Hot Chick Ever.