A male in his early 20's is sitting on a couch, watching a football game. A bowl of Tostito's and a can of dip is on the table in front of him.

A pregnant woman, presumably his wife, enters the room. She starts talking. The man's face has a look on it like he is in extreme pain once she starts talking.

Pregnant Woman: "Honey, look, he's kicking! Come feel it."

Man: (long sigh) "Are you FUCKING serious right now?"

Pregnant Woman: "Honey!"

Man: "Okay, fine, fine." He slowly walks over to her. "I'm gonna warn you though…I don't take shit from fuckin' NOBODY. If that baby kicks me I'm gonna defend myself and kick the shit out of it right back. That baby's fuckin' with the wrong father. I will lay him OUT. He won't even know what hit him. I will kick your stomach so hard Bruce Lee will be crying in his grave out of shame. I don't take shit from nobody, honey, you know that. YOU KNOW THAT. Not even our unborn baby boy. Or girl. Somebody kicks me, I'ma kick them back. It's as simple as that, bitch."

He puts her hand to her stomach and feels a kick. His face turns blood red, as if somebody has just insulted his dead mother. (I don't know if his mother is actually dead or not.) He leans over to his wife or girlfriend's stomach and starts threatening the baby close-up.

Man: "I will throw down right here right NOW, motherfucker."

All the relatives at the Thanksgiving family get-together stare over with their mouths open in astonishment.