Much to your delight or – more likely – dismay, I’m not dead, nor am I in prison making Emmanuel my bitch. I haven’t written anything for 3 weeks simply to maximize the irony of taking a long break immediately after posting a blog about procrastination. That’s what my publicist told me to say.

You may also have noticed the absence of my beautiful face from the PIC front page and I wanted to let you know that the rumors are true. Mike Faerber is gay. Also, I’m no longer a columnist. Basically, the weekly column started to feel more like an obligation than a privilege, and had therefore lost a lot of its appeal to me. I will, however, be staying on as a blogger and contributing writer, so you won’t have to give up your Dan Opp addiction cold turkey.

Actual funny post coming tomorrow.