Unweaving the paradox of social interaction: Why don't fat people have more friends than the average person?

Newton's universal law of gravitation states that every object in the universe exerts a tug on every other. It's true: the laws of gravitation do not just apply to "the heavenly bodies"…in fact, it is safe to say that it is more a tour de force in those of us with unheavanly bodies.

By this form of reasoning, one would deduce:

Fat person –> More Mass –> more gravitational pull

And yet it seems that larger people, as a rule, have less friends. Though I am certain that a fat person can rely on the quality of their friends, I am talking about quantity and the collective mass of friends without much regard to depth.

Solution!

The answer to this pickle of a paradox brings us right back to Newton. Newton realized that the pull of any two objects is proportional to the mass of each and varies inversely as the square of the distance between them. Put another way, if you double the distance between two objects, the attraction between them becomes four times weaker.

F = Gmm/r^2

I think it is well known that there is an attitude of disdain directed toward the huskier folks of society. There is no need to get into the unjustified reasons for this. It is only important that it be acknowledged.

It is clear that, while bigger people have more mass and thus more gravitational pull…the logistics involving range of vision in reference to the gravity of people proves to be entirely askew. People can see a fat person from far enough away that they are able to avoid the increased force-field of gravity. In relation to the gravity that is pulling us toward earth, gravity of a horizontal nature between other people is negligible. And to add to this; being fatter may increase your gravitational pull, but it also makes you easy to spot.

All in all, I would only recommend getting fat as a side-effect to leading a satisfying life…not as a means of acquiring more friends.

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