1. A foot-long piece of 2 x 4, painted black with lines of whiteout.
A measuring stick of some sort?
2. A note that reads: “Nick, Lock the FRONT DOOR WE DON'T WANT TO BE FUCKING MURDERED!”
My roommates smoke a lot of pot, apparently.
3. A bag of white powder that tastes a lot like caulk.
And I mean CAULK.
4. A white shirt with “Diabetes camp” on it.
I'm obviously going to wear this all the time now.
5. A Rick Springfield Vinyl.
I know…weird.
6. Two bottles from some Chinese soda company.
Ohhh! SUPER HAPPY FUN DRINK!
7. A framed photo of a three of clubs and the three of hearts.
This explains why nobody ever has more than a pair of threes when we play poker.
8. A half-full bottle of Level vodka.
Only strange because it still has liquor in it.
9. A Victoria's Secret bag with the following contents: a CVS tooth-whiting system, a black hairbrush, four red toothpicks, and the most interesting thing of all: the movie, “Hedwig and the Angry Inch” on DVD.
10. Contact info for the D.C. Zoo.
I'm looking for a good time, I guess?