That’s Right, I Claimed the 9 Billion Living Probiotics in My Kombucha as Dependents on My Tax Return
If joint return, spouse’s first name and middle initial: N/A (I brew my own kombucha)
Comedy Writing
NASA Contingency Plan: In the Event an Artemis II Astronaut Is a Werewolf
NASA is almost certain that none of you are werewolves. However, to ensure the safety of our new lunar missions, we must consider every eventuality.
Interview with an Instagram Poet
Have you ever considered capitalization? NO. i mean
I’m a Soft-Boiled Detective
I have a hunch: The killer might just need some space right now.
NASA Unveils Tapped Alien Communications, All Between a Married Couple of 20 Years Coordinating Errands
Is Zim Zim going to shootball today question mark send send [47:24 VY-93] Yes [47:24 VY-93]
Nah, You Wouldn’t Want to Sign Up for My Class on Reverse Psychology
Consider auditing Professor Lipton’s lecture series on conformity. After all, everybody’s going.
Don’t Blow It, Joel: Right Now, You’re the Biggest Stud in This Elevator
Now it’s time to press that button. She’s watching you, but no pressure. You’ve done this a thousand times before.
Is Your Refrigerator Running?
Ma’am, your wariness is completely understandable, but I am genuinely asking about whether your refrigerator is operational.
The Michaels Jordan: Wikipedia’s Disambiguation Page
Michael D’Jordan: Michael OF Jordan. Michael E. Jordan: Steeple Magazine’s Saintliest Man Alive (2020).
I Attend Your Improv Show Every Week, and You Have Never Once Taken My Suggestion of “Cedar Bluffs, Nebraska”
I’m a big fan of your troupe’s silly make-em-ups. But a fella can only be overlooked for so long without starting to take it personal.
Guaranteed Methods for Remembering Names at Social Events
Fun with rhyme! Example: Mark. Okay, “Mark” rhymes with “Clark.” So now all you have to do is remember the name Clark.
Help, I’m a Real Castaway, and I’ve Wandered Onto the Set of CBS’s “Survivor”
This morning, a chiseled man with a safari shirt and dimples deep as the Mariana Trench emerged from the jungle. “Come on in,” he beckoned.