The Nate Way 
By Nathan DeGraaf
I, Points in Case Columnist and reserved diplomat, Nathan DeGraaf, live in Tampa and write about whatever I want. One day, someone may actually pay me to babble on endlessly about my meaningless existence. Until then, this will have to do.
Recent Posts (View all):
By Nathan DeGraaf
Recent Posts (View all):
About Nathan DeGraaf
Hometown
Tampa, FL by way of St. Louis, MO
School
University of South Florida
At a Glance
Nathan DeGraaf graduated fucking years ago with a BA in Creative Writing from the University of South Florida, which he still lives near because college chicks are the best.
Signup for PIC!
Create a member account now to track your comments/submissions, mark your favorites, contact writers, customize your profile and more. It only takes a few seconds here.
Your Mom's Favorites
By Nathan DeGraaf
The Snippets Archive
Listen
What the Hell are Street Smarts?
A Day in the Life of a Crappy Photographer
BJ, Catslut and Army Dude
Nathan "Nate" DeGraaf
In Memory of that One Dude
Intervention Free
Rest in Peace Old Friend
Talking About Breakfast
At Least It's Summer
I'm With You Peta
Brave New Chore
Coney Island of the Gut
Hot Chicks Will Mess You Up
My Favorite Ten Lines
You Can't Enforce Respect
It's Not Like he was Gonna Write Beethoven's Fifth
A Hurricane by any Other Name
Your Money is Lying to You
Gasparilla: I'm a Shitty Photographer
Post 420
A Five Tool Rat
I'd Make a Lousy Dad
Missouri is a Bitch
Lil' Tony's Mortality
Health: The Nate Way
A Conversation with Jake
A Conversation with Mickey
My New Pet
Good Weird Moment in a Little League Tulip Field
We Will Never Forget
Lord Stanley and the Pampered Bitch
Ten Things that Suck About Sleeping Around
Bad Baseball and Presumptuous Rednecks
The Bible: Just a Book
Six Bucks in New York
Chills: The Coolest Dog Ever
Nuclear Wings and Spicy Bombs
Behind the Scenes with the Boss
Bye Kirby
Killer Train of Thought
Jealous Much
Interview with a Bunni
Wholeheartedly Endorsed
The Humanity
What's in a Hurricane Name?
Crash into Familiarity
No Strings
Nate's Life Lessons
Your Tax Dollars at Work
Hardly Playing the Race Card
Steroids: Because Losing Sucks
Welcome to Florida - Shut Up
Your Mom Digs My Shirt
The Zoo: A Memory
Missing Someone
RJ and the Half Drunk Prince
The Cute White Boy
Your Mom's Links
Simmons
Maddox
With Leather
Amir's Blog
FJM
Deadspin
Surf Report
Kissing Suzy Kolber
NOIS
By Nathan DeGraaf
The Snippets Archive
Listen
What the Hell are Street Smarts?
A Day in the Life of a Crappy Photographer
BJ, Catslut and Army Dude
Nathan "Nate" DeGraaf
In Memory of that One Dude
Intervention Free
Rest in Peace Old Friend
Talking About Breakfast
At Least It's Summer
I'm With You Peta
Brave New Chore
Coney Island of the Gut
Hot Chicks Will Mess You Up
My Favorite Ten Lines
You Can't Enforce Respect
It's Not Like he was Gonna Write Beethoven's Fifth
A Hurricane by any Other Name
Your Money is Lying to You
Gasparilla: I'm a Shitty Photographer
Post 420
A Five Tool Rat
I'd Make a Lousy Dad
Missouri is a Bitch
Lil' Tony's Mortality
Health: The Nate Way
A Conversation with Jake
A Conversation with Mickey
My New Pet
Good Weird Moment in a Little League Tulip Field
We Will Never Forget
Lord Stanley and the Pampered Bitch
Ten Things that Suck About Sleeping Around
Bad Baseball and Presumptuous Rednecks
The Bible: Just a Book
Six Bucks in New York
Chills: The Coolest Dog Ever
Nuclear Wings and Spicy Bombs
Behind the Scenes with the Boss
Bye Kirby
Killer Train of Thought
Jealous Much
Interview with a Bunni
Wholeheartedly Endorsed
The Humanity
What's in a Hurricane Name?
Crash into Familiarity
No Strings
Nate's Life Lessons
Your Tax Dollars at Work
Hardly Playing the Race Card
Steroids: Because Losing Sucks
Welcome to Florida - Shut Up
Your Mom Digs My Shirt
The Zoo: A Memory
Missing Someone
RJ and the Half Drunk Prince
The Cute White Boy
Your Mom's Links
Simmons
Maddox
With Leather
Amir's Blog
FJM
Deadspin
Surf Report
Kissing Suzy Kolber
NOIS
Recent Comments
| Author | Comment | Article |
|---|---|---|
| Louis Farrakhan (not verified) | Your words will not go | I'm Sorry I Shanked You |
| Frank | awesome dude. love it when | I'm Sorry I Shanked You |
| Anonymous (not verified) | Let me see that | Poem of the Solemn Thong |
| Courtney | You know, I work in a | I'm Sorry I Shanked You |
| LO (not verified) | The Chiefs lost by one | Picking Them First Week Games |
Groceries, Money and Marriage
Posted July 17th, 2006 by Nathan DeGraaf
Sunday, I went grocery shopping (it's a fascinating life I lead, I know). When I entered the store, the woman ahead of me apologized for clogging the lane as she paused to wipe down the plastic handle on her grocery cart.
"Sorry for holding you back," she told me. "I always make sure to wipe down my handle."
"Well," I said. "I prefer to just get dirty, myself. But there's nothing wrong with a woman who likes a clean shaft."
And her face turned red as an apple.
"Wow," she said. "You just made a forty year old mother of three blush. I wonder what else you could make me do?no, I'm kidding. I'm happily married."
I smiled at her as I walked away.
She was beautiful in a distinguished sort of way, and hot in an "other middle-aged women are totally envious of me" kind of way.
Later, I saw her in the produce section. She was picking out cucumbers and I busted up laughing.
"God," she said. "The innuendo does not stop."
Still later, she stood behind me in the check-out line.
"Wow," she said. "It was just meant to be."
"You know," I said. "I have to admit, you've been a real good sport about everything. And you are an incredibly beautiful woman for a forty year old mother of three."
"Well," she said, for the first time offering traces of a southern accent. "I do enjoy flirting with the boys. And honey, when you have a husband who makes the kind of money mine does, you have to look good."
"So, if he was dead broke, you wouldn't bother looking good?"
"No," she said. "I'd still look good. But if he was dead broke, I'd be following you home. That's for sure."
I hate people, sometimes. Sometimes I really do.
"Sorry for holding you back," she told me. "I always make sure to wipe down my handle."
"Well," I said. "I prefer to just get dirty, myself. But there's nothing wrong with a woman who likes a clean shaft."
And her face turned red as an apple.
"Wow," she said. "You just made a forty year old mother of three blush. I wonder what else you could make me do?no, I'm kidding. I'm happily married."
I smiled at her as I walked away.
She was beautiful in a distinguished sort of way, and hot in an "other middle-aged women are totally envious of me" kind of way.
Later, I saw her in the produce section. She was picking out cucumbers and I busted up laughing.
"God," she said. "The innuendo does not stop."
Still later, she stood behind me in the check-out line.
"Wow," she said. "It was just meant to be."
"You know," I said. "I have to admit, you've been a real good sport about everything. And you are an incredibly beautiful woman for a forty year old mother of three."
"Well," she said, for the first time offering traces of a southern accent. "I do enjoy flirting with the boys. And honey, when you have a husband who makes the kind of money mine does, you have to look good."
"So, if he was dead broke, you wouldn't bother looking good?"
"No," she said. "I'd still look good. But if he was dead broke, I'd be following you home. That's for sure."
I hate people, sometimes. Sometimes I really do.
8 Comments
You tell the best stories. I fucking love your blog man. And if you release a book, I'll buy it, because I love your writing. (Not to sound like I have a crush on you.)
Except you totally do.
Hey I completely agree with you here. Why has everything, especially marriage become about money these days? What happened to love, commitment, personality, etc. Why does everything revolve around making/getting/spendnig money. Hasn't anyone ever heard "money can't buy happiness" or is that just to cheap to "buy" into these days?
Of course, it's just that it's all lies. Money does buy happiness. When I can get hammered on a Thursday night and drop three figures on booze, and yet my bills are paid on time and I am still building my savings... I am happy.
ok Nathan, this column means you and I have to talk. You know where I am right now, I will call you next Monday.
Kev
p.s. right now, I am Nathan DeGraaf Drunk!! (sorry for the inside joke)
"Nathan DeGraaf Drunk"...heheheh...hey, in related news, I just thought I'd mention that, though I am a fan of Tucker Max in general, and I purchased his book, I read the pissing contest between you and him and have to say, from an objective prospective, as a fan of both of you, Tucker behaved like a total and complete dipshit towards you and you responded with complete prose and dignity...just my two cents...you sir are the man...i look forward to your book
Oy, Tucker is a bitch sometimes... wait, all the time. Nevertheless, I do enjoy his newest guest Robert Greene. I see you've contributed to the discussions as well.
Thanks, Peter R. The book is at about 210 pages. I have a few mor pieces to write and then I get to edit. Man, I could use a week or three off of work.
Kevin, enjoy your vacation. I'd like to act all jealous and pissed, but hell man, you earn that shit every day.
Thanks, Tyler. I look forward to reading your stuff in the future as well.
Anonymous, I did comment on Greene's blog. I find the way he's using the blog format to be pretty interesting. Also, my buddy Brickmaster once referred to Greene as "Machiavelli for kids who didn't go to college." I mean, that's a heluva a compliment.
Post new comment