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Dad Got Hosed
Posted December 31st, 2006 by E. Mike Tuckerson
While taking a break from my Sunday Saints Prayer Spectacular (I practically chant “hold on to the damned football” in my sleep), a Verizon commercial prompted me to post some sort of year-end tribute. Seriously, I was touched by the script. Anyway, my tribute has already been done for me at this link.
While it may appear I’m not a fan of the holidays, one could not be further from the truth. I love this time of year, particularly the conclusion of it. What other time of the year can one witness the very best of the very worst of our species? I can't be the only one looking forward to the annual Darwin Awards.
Are you unfamiliar with this momentous occasion? The Darwin Awards are bestowed upon the recently departed whose death provides cautionary tales to us all. More specifically, these persons have achieved a level of carelessness and/or idiocy culminating in their demise. The best part about these awards is that you can earn one without even applying yourself. Who knows, you may already possess the makings of future Hall of Famer.
Check out the site for a glimpse at some of this year’s nominees, but be sure to check out one of my favorites “Stubbed Out.” Combine one part flammable skin cream with your choice of cigarette, and you get another indicator of why even doctors can’t save people from themselves. My condolences to the family, but for once it would have been helpful if dad actually got hosed on this one.
While it may appear I’m not a fan of the holidays, one could not be further from the truth. I love this time of year, particularly the conclusion of it. What other time of the year can one witness the very best of the very worst of our species? I can't be the only one looking forward to the annual Darwin Awards.
Are you unfamiliar with this momentous occasion? The Darwin Awards are bestowed upon the recently departed whose death provides cautionary tales to us all. More specifically, these persons have achieved a level of carelessness and/or idiocy culminating in their demise. The best part about these awards is that you can earn one without even applying yourself. Who knows, you may already possess the makings of future Hall of Famer.
Check out the site for a glimpse at some of this year’s nominees, but be sure to check out one of my favorites “Stubbed Out.” Combine one part flammable skin cream with your choice of cigarette, and you get another indicator of why even doctors can’t save people from themselves. My condolences to the family, but for once it would have been helpful if dad actually got hosed on this one.
2 Comments
I hope you die you hypocritical douche bag!
Dearest Time Traveller,
Hellooo from the world of tomorrow. To think, of all the blogs on all of the internet, you chose mine in which to make such a grand remark...over a year after it posted. It's as if to say "hey, I may not have time to explain what about this entry is hypocritical, but I *do* have time on my hands. Time to say the equivalent of nothing."
Honestly, I don't know what to say except, have you any idea what the *actual* meaning of the word hypocritical is? Because I honestly dislike Christmas and have spoken volumes about how some people truly represent a blight upon humanity. Perhaps you represent yet another "Point in Case."
P. S. On your way back underneath your rock, be sure to tell 2006 that the "Britney Saga" is less rollercoaster and more "Tower of Terror."
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