Funny College Stories

All archived funny college stories from 2000-2008.
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The Tale of My Tail by Sarah Romeo
A massive growth terrorizes Sarah's coccyx region, and you may bear witness to all the intimate, grueling details as the tail grows.

The Infamous Ass Onion by Doug Ault
Fueled by moonshine and the freedom from parents, a high school party gives way to the drunkest, grossest morning after story ever.

Diagnosis Murder by J.B. Hour
It's not every day that somebody asks you to help them commit murder and is totally serious about it. But getaway drivers don't grow on trees.

You're Probably Not Going to this Party by Nathan DeGraaf
Interviews with two of the luckiest Playboy U reps in the country, each of whom chose 25 of the hottest girls to attend Playboy's Super Bowl Party.

When I Was Your Age by J.B. Hour
If your childhood is any indication of the type of childhood your offspring will endure (and it is), please consider abortion. It's a lot less painful.


An Office Visit with Doctor Don't be Cruel by Michelle Herron
Seems like 'ol Doc in the Box knows about as much as Elvis when it comes to prescribing the right pills. Whole lotta shakin' goin' on indeed.

At the Rest Stop of Madness, Part II by J.M. Lucci
Part II of the horror/humor series picks up as the college friends pull in to the rest stop, and head to the restroom for a lot more than a quick pee.

How to Speed Your Way Out of a DUI by J. Brown
If you want people to forget you pissed yourself, then shit in your pants. If you want a cop to overlook driving under the influence, step on the gas.

At the Rest Stop of Madness by J.M. Lucci
Part I of the horror/humor series following a group of college kids on a misguided road trip, and their ill-fated encounter with the surreal.

The Power of the Dark Side by Joe Ouldhouse
Getting rid of the clingy fat on your sides may not involve dieting, just getting the overweight girl to stop following you around. Use the Force.

The Most Horrific Pick-Up Story Ever by Michael Traeger
Everybody has horrific date stories, but this is the ultimate tale of “Open Mouth, Insert Foot." And the relationship hadn't even got off the ground.

Ugly Amber: My Anti-Drug by Joe Ouldhouse
When a plumper version of Rosie O’Donnell with greasy hair, and a face full of acne won't stop stalking you, even smoke breaks have to go.

What Would Randy Spellner Do? by J.B. Hour
Everybody has that friend in college who is legendary. That central character in every good story who helps you avoid future bad decisions.

Once Upon a High School Party by Alex Willen
High school debauchery comes with a unique set of obstacles: curfews, inexperience, and vehicular puking. But there's no turning back now.

I Swear I'll Never Drink Again by Sarah Romeo
You'll never have another hangover kick your ass like your very first one. Because if the alcohol doesn't kill ya, your parents sure will.

Breaking Out of the Bubble by Alex Willen
The college experience isn't at universal as you think. Some campuses actually have RA's who care... and Asians!

Meeting the Parents: A Folks Tale by Jonathan Marine
It's inevitable: at some point you're going to have to meet her parents. May I recommend super glue to keep that smile on?


Jen the Fat by Michael Sonjack
Fat, annoying coworkers are a lot like pieces of candy. All it takes is one... okay one more. Mmm, I'm just going to take the whole dish.

Almost Raped in Austin by Michael Curtiss
Ugly strippers, hitchhiking murderers, and stalking rapists give new meaning to the saying "Don't Mess With Texas!"

My Alcoholic Handicap by James Pearson
Working with the mentally handicapped to fund your liquor expenses is a sacrifice one sometimes must make. Let's get retarded.

Civil Disobedience, Part 2 by Dave Murphy
Dear Jessica, I fear I cannot hold my tongue any longer... and neither can Todd. He's hooking up with everyone behind your back.

A Fleeting Pain in the Butt by Michael Curtiss
When you wake up feeling like there's a wolverine in your stomach, it turns out an enema is your only friend. Beware the oil spill.

Just Say No to Molly by James Pearson
Please don't ignore the wisdom of an experienced janitor. Because when it comes to brothels, they know exactly which type of ecstasy to avoid.

Sluts on a Plane by Michael Curtiss
Don't panic, the Mile High Strip Club always creates turbulence. Even Samuel L. Jackson would welcome this kind of thing at 10,000 feet.

The Ping Pong Pile of Shit by Michael Curtiss
When you break a ping pong table down to its most basic form, the result is a heaping pile of trash. Just ask your neighbor, it's his problem now.

The Bed, Beach and Beyond by Michael Curtiss
The amount of fun you have on Spring Break in South Padre can effectively be gauged by the amount of bodily fluids left in one bed.

The Last Doctor Visit You'll Ever Make by Michael Curtiss
Back pains and difficulty urinating? You might just wanna tough it out...that is, unless you enjoyed your last alien anal probe.

Civil Disobedience: The Ex-GF Letters by Dave Murphy
When your ex-girlfriend turns the revenge meter up to "crazy," the politely constructed blackmail letter may be your only chance at a truce.


Sorry Asshole, Please Forgive Me? by Lisa Stephens
Attention asshole, the girl you used to date has some stuff to get off her chest...and it's not just your man juice. Hopefully this apology is enough?

US Airways Flying Circus by Dan Opp
When it comes to getting a seat on the plane, the airline industry likes to play a little game called musical chairs. Losers get a terminal illness.

An Attempt at Sensitivity by Nathan DeGraaf
Three years after his passing, Joe's "bum rush story" surfaces on the back of a Chinese food menu. And it's a valuable lesson in karma.

RIP Kampus Kwik, We Hardly Knew Ye by Nathan DeGraaf
It's a unique, homegrown attachment like no other: the local college convenient store that bucks every sound business trend known to man.


A Christmas Story by Matt Murtaugh
Everyone's Christmas break always starts the same, but rarely does it end up this bad. Unless your family's borderline crazy too.

Kim's 21st in the Big City by Simonne Cullen
Simonne captures the bar-hopping celebration of one of her good friend's milestone birthdays in poetic form. 'Twas the night of drinking.

Bus Stop Blues by Mike Forest
Waiting over 45 minutes for the bus in Michigan might leave you bitter too. Especially if it means helping a stranger with car trouble.

The Fashionably Disastrous Shopping Adventure by Simonne Cullen
It started as a pleasant hunt for 80's clothes, and it spiraled into a department store weather nightmare. Except for the Peruvian girl.

My Dog Demands Pear Mango Passion! by Court Sullivan
The Alberto V05 shampoo-makers get a prank call about their animal testing policy. All the dog wants is some fruity conditioner and a good pampering!


The Off-Campus College House 3 (Episode 3 of 3) by Chris King
Homeless people and dripping ceilings plague a house where Roman Candle Wars and setting fire to couches is the norm.

The Off-Campus College House 2 (Episode 2 of 3) by Chris King
The craziness continues at The Leaning Tower of 18th A (aka The Neapolitan House). Rats, peanut butter boobs, and beer & flouring.

The Off-Campus College House (Episode 1 of 3) by Chris King
Our first mini-series ever examines that same, beaten down, falling apart crackhouse that students continue to move into every year.


On Top of the Clothesline and Crawling by Court Sullivan
How do you get rid of ants in your pants fifteen minutes before work starts? You snipe-pinch them of course!

Macy's "World's Largest Bombing Display" by Court Sullivan
Macy's takes on the NYPD in front of cheering thousands in this spectacularly dangerous annual tradition.


Mystery of the Campus Shuttle by Court Sullivan
A compelling transportation drama. "Unit 3, we have an unmarked shuttle headed for the abandoned warehouse. Unit 3, I repeat...... Unit 3?"


How Rome Fell...Into My Hands by Court Sullivan
Court's real college admission essay. Caution: "after-school special corniness" comes in large doses.