College Quotes
Guy 1: The guy that taught me to make dough told me the bottom was the asshole, so push everything into the asshole. See how my asshole is nice and tight?
Guy 2: My asshole is too big....
-Overheard at a pizza shop where two guys were making dough
Latest Columns
By Alex Boonstra
If You Give a Mouse a Cookie...
By Casey Freeman
Texts From Last Night (To Myself)
By Andrei Trostel
Ladies, Stop Cutting Your Hair!
By Fugly Slut
Halloweenus Asstastic Extravaganza
By Nick Moose
That Gorilla Suits Me Fine
View all weekly columns
Reports and wisdom from a college grad lamenting the end of dining hall food, forbidden dorm sex, and a complete lack of responsibility.
Subscribe to Casey's column RSS feed
Archives: 2009, 2008
Recent Posts:
- Texts From Last Night (To Myself)
- What I Did When I Turned 18
- My Organs and I Drive to Denver
- My Organs and I Return... From the Dead
- Stoned Candy Adventure
About Casey Freeman
Hometown
New York, NY
School
University of Colorado at Boulder
At a Glance
Kc was born in Oregon, raised in the Dakotas, educated in Colorado, and now resides in NYC. He misses sleeping until noon, drinking nightly, and getting shot down by college girls. He still gets shot down by college girls.
Register for PIC
Remove banner ads, track your comments/quotes, contact writers and customize your profile!
Create a free member account »
Best of Thank Me Later
By Casey FreemanMy Organs and I Go on a First Date
My Organs and I Wake Up
My Organs and I Go to a Game
My Organs and I Hook Up (With a Girl)
My Organs and I Detox
My Organs and I Go to Work
My Organs and I Go to Work (At a Bar)
Narcotics Anonymous
Narcotics Anonymous Goes to the Park
Narcotics Anonymous Goes to a Concert
11 Awesome Things About Being a Bouncer
11 Awesome Things About Being a Bartender
Interview with a Mugger
My Personal Helper Monkey
Goon for Hire
Pizza Delivery Boy Complaints
Let Me Be Your Special Needs Boyfriend
Realistic Jobs for Liberal Arts Majors
My Best Advice on College Chicks
Love is in the Air
Recent Comments
| Author | Comment | Article |
|---|---|---|
| Anonymous (not verified) | to all of you good people | Anti-Chuck Norris Facts |
| Anonymous (not verified) | Fucking clever. | If You Give a Mouse a Cookie... |
| Anonymous (not verified) | Vile. Just really, really | Kiss a Little Longer: A Hair's Tale |
| Andrei Trostel | I think you are confusing | If You Give a Mouse a Cookie... |
| Anonymous (not verified) | Given the unoriginality of | If You Give a Mouse a Cookie... |
| Kaitlyn (not verified) | I have to agree, that time | Erections vs. Periods |
Quick Jokes
My Organs and I Return... From the Dead
(Scene: A dark hospital corridor near the morgue. Orderlies run around trying to figure out why all the body bags are moving and what all the banging is from the corpse cooling machine. A body covered by a sheet moves into the shot. Then it sits up revealing the incredibly handsome [but alas, dead] face of everybody's favorite person in the world: KC!)
BRAIN: Must get brains!
KC: Brains!
MOUTH: BRAINSsssssss!
NOSE: Brains.
HANDS: Brains.
BUTT: Brains.
GUT: BRAINS!
EARS: Brains.
JUNK: Wow. With all this rigor mortis, it's like having a permanent boner! Bring on the dead chicks!
BRAIN: Brains!
KC: Brainnnnnns.
JUNK: Come on... everybody? This blows.
END
5 Comments
Hmmm see now this confuses me. Do I shoot you in the face with the shot gun or in the Junk? ;-P
Hilarious KC!! (<-why does typing KC for the first time seem so weird to me?)
nice throwback to a classic
Hmmm... IWell, I may have to take advantage of your zombie boner OTTO OR UP WITH DEAD PEOPLE style before shoving you into the helicopter rotor/whacking your cranium with a machete/screwdriving your temple/generally calling Tom Savini on your undead ass...
Neat article!
I love this series.
However, this seems to be a low point.
Junk should definitely be more interested in brains. Who doesn't love a good skullfuck?
haha skullfucker
Post new comment