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I'm 23-year-old college student on my 3rd different major. I'm quite a large Ravens, Nationals, and Knicks fan. By large I mean I suffer from ''Sweaty Waistband Syndrome.'' I've tried to do stand-up but thought it involved too much standing. I can remember random sports trivia but can't remember my cell phone number. I have a better grasp on the English language than Emmitt Smith. I'll turn all this potential into something eventually. If I haven't alienated you already you'll probably like me.
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LeBron James Turns Heel
Tonight, LeBron James has a decision to make:
1. Miami - Become the Scottie Pippen to D-Wade's MJ, win a few titles, and become the Clyde Drexler of our generation.
2. Cleveland - Maybe win one title that means more than anything he could win in Miami, and be a hero forever in Ohio.
3. New York - Maybe win one title in one of the few cities where basketball is still king.
Regardless of which city he chooses to make millions of dollars in, most basketball fans seem to have one message for LeBron: "Fuck you."
Fuck you for thinking your announcement was worth a one-hour special. Fuck you for thinking anyone wouldn't see through the shallowness of donating the ad revenue from tonight's special to the Boys and Girls Club. Fuck you for becoming ESPN's toy. Those puppet commercials on ESPN the past few years were pretty prophetic, because that is all you've become LeBron, a fucking corporate puppet. You're Alex Rodriguez. You're Peyton Manning. Go shrill for some boner pills you fucking dick.
You could've been someone that meant something, you could've been MJ without the gambling and distant attitude. Instead you're 200 pounds shy of becoming Magic Johnson, shrilling for anyone and anything that will throw some money your way and put a camera on you for three more minutes. Only unlike Magic, you haven't won shit.
Oh I'm not saying that's totally your fault; Cavs management has routinely fucked up every trade, draft pick, and free agent signing since taking you #1. But that doesn't excuse you. That doesn't mean we're ready to call you the world's greatest player yet. Kobe's still hanging around. Kevin Durant—who announced the signing of his extension with a simple tweet—might be better than both of you.
So go ahead, LeBron, have your one-hour celebration of you. We'll watch, and as a Knicks fan if you come to New York I'm sure I'll do some light celebrating, but from this day forward, you won't really matter. You've become just another faceless promoter of shit I don't care about. You're the Miley Cyrus of basketball—go show off your vag to the world tonight you fucking prick. You're now Hollywood Hulk Hogan—tonight is your ''fans can stick it'' promo, and this has been my paper cup hitting you in the foot.
Fuck you.
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9 Comments
(Post new comment)Besides the obvious stupidity.. Kevin Durant better than Bron or Kobe?? REALLY? he cant pass and barely gets 7 boards on a small team.. quit buying ESPN's love and watch the games
''Might be'' better, as in there is a chance he has a better career than either of them, and will certainly have a comparable career. He's set up on a team where he has had to be the man from day one (like LeBron) but also could end up with a decent supporting cast (like Kobe). I think as Durants career goes along he will become a better rebounder as he adds bulk he certainly has the length. My point was why is LeBron getting all this attention when we're not even sure he's going to be the best player in the league. Is there any situation he goes to that ends in him winning a title next season? Wade, LeBron, Bosh and 8 min. contract guys are not going to beat the Lakers size and depth, the Cavs won't win barring the Hornets giving away Chris Paul, and the Knicks will be lucky to even make the playoffs with him.
He can win a 'ship in Chicago next year with Boozer, Rose, Noah, and several solid supports. That said, I hope he stays in Cleveland.
If he only wanted to win a championship he should've just grabbed the best big man that would come and go to the bulls. Rose is legit and Noahs a great rebounder/shit starter.
How can anyone say there not sure if LeBron is the best player in the league, the NBA gives out an award (called the MVP) and this is not predicated on a team winning a championship (Kobe fans this is why Kobe will always remain number 2, although Durant and Wade are still around) its based on a individuals performance. The only thing you can say about LeBron is that he had to leave to win a championship but lets be real, Kobe went to one of the best franchises in the league and he always had players, even when he was crying about getting new ones.
So when Barkley won the MVP in 92-93 he was a better player than Jordan? What about when Malone won over MJ in 98-99? The MVP is in no way the ultimate decider of who the best player in the league is. From what it looks like we won't know if LeBron is the best player because he chickened out and ran to go play with his buddies. Thats fine if he wants to be Scottie Pippen, but I don't think he has it in him to defer to Wade, guard the other teams best player, and do the dirty work that second bananas have to do.
I find it unecessary to put
peyton mannning in that category.. have some class
Last I checked he relentlessly hawked shit and came up small in almost every big game he had ever been in.
Long story short - Pick a random person off the street and see if they can name Lebron, Wade, Kobe's etc. Jersey Number.....Go ahead. I'll wait. I sure as hell don't care to. Jordan was a legend - not a man. Michael Jordan can't even live up to MJ #23 so how can these lame ducks hope to. I dont think too many people are gonna go out and buy a fresh pair of Kobe or James sneakers....that sounds like a payless shoe.
All I'm saying is, he moved but probably won't win jack and he just make Clevland the ultimate martrys - ultimate underdogs. I'm hoping they win a ring before heat just to mess with "King James"....oh and I'm from Florida baby.
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