About Court Sullivan
Hometown
Huntsville, AL
School
Emory University
At a Glance
I am easily excited by spontaneous things, amusing people, random moments, minor observations, and alcohol. I'm also the editor of PIC, which manages to incorporate all of those things.
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Art Museum Pick-Up Lines
Posted August 12th, 2005 by Court Sullivan
I visited the Metropolitan Museum of Art today. Excellent place to go if you're looking for some fine female scenery. Not the 16th century nudes on the walls, but the 16-25 year olds in the halls. I only wish I could've "MET" some of them (New Yorker's joke).
So I've decided to go back to the museum in a few days. Only this time armed with some truly unique art museum pick-up lines. Let's crank a few out now, shall we?
THE CULTURED GUY'S ART MUSEUM PICK-UP LINES
"Sorry for staring, I thought your face was a work of art."
"Baby you're so fine you could make an impression on MONET."
"How bout you and me go downstairs and brush up on our strokes?"
(For sado-masochists) "I'd like to hang you up and nail you to the wall."
"Are you the daughter of The David or did God finish sculpting perfection?"
"Are you a medium? Because I'd like to paint you on carpet."
(For Webbie) "Girl, GIMME THAT PUSSSAY."
(For ghetto black guys hitting on white girls) "Are you into monochrome? Because I'd love to use my charcoal to color us black and white."
(For older guys hitting on younger girls looking at old European paintings of female nudes) "You know, back in the 16th century, this kind of thing was taboo. My how things change..."
Anyone else have suggestions? I promise to try EVERY one of them.
I visited the Metropolitan Museum of Art today. Excellent place to go if you're looking for some fine female scenery. Not the 16th century nudes on the walls, but the 16-25 year olds in the halls. I only wish I could've "MET" some of them (New Yorker's joke).So I've decided to go back to the museum in a few days. Only this time armed with some truly unique art museum pick-up lines. Let's crank a few out now, shall we?
THE CULTURED GUY'S ART MUSEUM PICK-UP LINES
"Sorry for staring, I thought your face was a work of art."
"Baby you're so fine you could make an impression on MONET."
"How bout you and me go downstairs and brush up on our strokes?"
(For sado-masochists) "I'd like to hang you up and nail you to the wall."
"Are you the daughter of The David or did God finish sculpting perfection?"
"Are you a medium? Because I'd like to paint you on carpet."
(For Webbie) "Girl, GIMME THAT PUSSSAY."
(For ghetto black guys hitting on white girls) "Are you into monochrome? Because I'd love to use my charcoal to color us black and white."
(For older guys hitting on younger girls looking at old European paintings of female nudes) "You know, back in the 16th century, this kind of thing was taboo. My how things change..."
Anyone else have suggestions? I promise to try EVERY one of them.
3 Comments
“The post modernists say that perfection is unattainable. So tell me Perfect, is it true?”
“Until I met you, I never really understood Van Gogh’s motivation for mutilation. Please stay away from me, for if you break my heart, I shudder to think what I would cut off.”
“I’m pretty sure that [insert name of work of art] finds you more impressive than you find it. In fact, I’m pretty sure we can say that for all of the works in this museum. Let’s fuck.”
“Picasso’s rabid intensity is revealed often in his work. Really though, he was lucky. My rabid intensity only shows up in the bedroom.”
“Alas, [character in portrait] is forever immortalized. I’m sure he would trade it all for one chance to gaze into your eyes. How lucky I am today, to be alive.”
And my personal favorite:
“Here I am, in a city of millions, surrounded by some of the finest works of art known to humanity, and all I can look at is you.”
Go fuck an artsy chick, Court
"You're so Monet, and you don't even know it"
"(in front of a Picasso) Real women have cubes"
"You know the Mona Lisa has no eyebrows... I wonder what else she shaves"
"That would look good above my bed while I'm fucking you... just kidding, I hate that painting."
more to come
Art Museum? More like FART museum. Damn baby lets get outta here.
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