Ransom Note From a Kidnapper Who Just Took a Creative Writing Class
We stormed into your backyard like Viking hordes, and heaved your precious boy into a burlap sack, the rough fibers scratching his tousled hair.
Tag: Writing
Goodbye to “All That”: By Kenan Thompson in 2001
Someone once said that "All That" is for the very young and the same people when they’re 28 and nostalgic. For me, "All That" is a moment in time.
Optimize Your Originality by Copying Famous Creatives’ Daily Habits
Immanuel Kant (1724-1804): Awoken by spousal uppercut at 6:30, the philosopher began an impressive washing regimen; Kant felt his mind was sharpened by pouring pitchers of cold water over himself.
Leaked Emails of a Hollywood Executive Desperately Pitching a Coen Brothers Cinematic Universe
How about this: It’s 2000 in LA, and Walter Sobchak & The Dude are bowling, when who should walk in, but none other than Marge Gunderson!
Introducing Our Latest Groundbreaking Piece of Gym Equipment: The Dialectical
This contraption will gyrate you vigorously while asking you about sense-certainty, the super-sensible, and collective consciousness.
Directors’ Notes on Restagings of Shakespeare’s “Hamlet”
"SYLVIA PLATH // HAMLET '90s MIXTAPE": Hamlet is depressed. Hamlet is in love. Hamlet is occasionally suicidal. Basically, Hamlet is the '90s.
The New Adopt-a-Writer Program
Frederik (42, Breed: Poet (Non-Rhyming)) Frederik thinks he’s better than all the other writers at the shelter.
Early Warning Signs Your Workers Are Trying to Unionize
You’ve never had a problem casually finding out where the end-of-week happy hour is before, but people now seem to be making plans in the bathroom.
Democracy Dies in Darkness (Including in the Shadow of our Paywall)
We used to be doing all right financially, but we just blew our last 5 million dollars on a Superbowl ad during the most boring Superbowl in history.
Colonel Aureliano Buendía is Cancelled
Sorry, I can’t join your ragtag militia of freedom fighters, Mr. Buendía, I’m busy fighting to free my mind of institutionalized perceptions of truth and justice.
My Declaration of Independence From This Conversation
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all conversations are not created equal; that some are boring as hell and a complete waste of time.
Season 87 Recap: This May Be My Last Recap for a While
I went back to episode 8 in season 32: Watch Cormorant’s face when Mandeep finds Bumbalini’s pre-IPO filing. I watched it 18 times.