Hon… are you there? Pick up? When I get home, I must keep away from kids. No want kids get sick. I'll sneak into bedroom. Turn on Nintendo, if I have strength.
An Open Letter to My Neighbors Who Insist on Hanging a Scary Clown Decoration from a Tree Over the Sidewalk Every October
I'm not going to say that the clown is FRIGHTENING, since I'm an adult and being afraid of a Halloween decoration would be silly. But take it down, ok?
Every so often, abused dogs invade your television screen soundtracked by Sarah McLachlan's ubiquitous "In the Arms of an Angel." These are their stories.
I was going to make Jared Kushner my 7th top friend, but then I remembered that having family members in your top 8 is LAME.
If your family is anything like mine, annual vacations rack up years of therapy expenses. Here are a eight money-saving musts to make sure your bank isn't broken while your spirit is.
I'm using the same "expect less" philosophy expressed by golfer Brooks Koepka, who said that it took him so long to win because he was "trying too badly."
I can't help but be ashamed of how materialistic I used to be. I guess I should just be happy that buying this Buddha statue on Amazon made me the person I am today.
Leading a balanced life is difficult. But with a little bit of hope, patience, understanding, and a simple reading of this article, I can help you achieve it!
We've both changed a lot over the years, but we made certain promises to each other. Am I mistaken in remembering that on our first date you told me you "like to cook"?
"It’s just a trend," say the naysayers, "they’ll fade as fast as Pogs." Well let me tell you something you squashers of sunshine: I'm not a goddamn milk cap, I'm the milk.
Be aware of how your stresses don’t matter, because your job doesn’t matter, and neither do you. Let this knowledge relax you.
Lurking behind every YouTube thumbnail is a well-camouflaged bear trap, waiting to violently snap shut on your already fragile sense of self-worth.