While Thinking About: The tropical rainforest of Rhukanrhuka, Bolivia. You'll Be: Swearing at the deli rat that scampered off with your last Funyun.
Tag: South America
“I don’t want to come off as needy so I’ve been sitting on this text for precisely 72 hours since our last hang.”
Wow, guns do kill so many Americans. But, like, have you ever partied with guns? It’s awesome.
“Quierrro ceviche,” I purr and raise an eyebrow. “Ok, one ceviche coming right up,” He responds in English. Haha! He’s fun and must stop flirting!
Keeper is the proper term for goalkeeper, which I know from all the soccer I watch and not from memorizing the Quidditch positions in Harry Potter.
Wheat Grass: You are health conscious and enjoy taste bud masochism. Scotch: You are a lawyer and you’ve been to 13% of your son’s baseball games.
Italy: "I just called Comcast and asked if there's an extra charge for Rome-ing? ...Hello? What are you? An audience or a Michelangelo painting?"
As a reformed predator of tourists, I feel it is my duty to make amends for all of my past wrongdoings by sharing some simple tips for traveling safely.
Shit, Jeff. I'm dead on my feet, bro. I'm exhausted. I want to go back to the Village with the guys and get some sleep and pretend this never happened.
A potentially devastating terrorist attack on Maracana Stadium is thwarted when Usain Bolt reaches out to ISIS leaders and makes things right.