Cover Letter From a College Grad with No Skills
Dear Sir, my mom made me contact you regarding the position of Costumer Service Rep because she's tired of seeing me play video games in my underwear.
Dear Sir, my mom made me contact you regarding the position of Costumer Service Rep because she's tired of seeing me play video games in my underwear.
I can perform brain surgery in the dark, and I found the Higgs boson particle with an accelerator I constructed in my backyard out of tin foil and duct tape.
I don't know an awl from a chisel and don't want to. But I do know one thing for certain and I'll declare it before the God of our Fathers: JESUS IS NO CARPENTER!
For a while, there were no consequences for my coffee addiction. I started doing amazing in school, my parents remained in the dark, and I earned a full scholarship.
Sorted and separated from those of color, I can now see the first washing machine lying in wait. I watch as my non-white comrades are tossed into the behemoth.
Friends, no one gets up in the morning on planet Earth searching for Cloud 2. We're all trying to get to Cloud 9. And there's no easy way to get there.
Create a profile for your unborn infant, and get it started networking with other fetuses before it even takes its first breath.
If you have a character flaw, Craig Ryburn is gonna find it. This is what has kept him in the trade for 34 years. He knows how to put everything on the smallest of tables.
If father and mother ever knew that I met Mr. Oxford at a seedy dive bar, or that I allowed him to kiss me on the cheek that night, they would never look at me again!
If you don’t have any friends, you must forward this to 80,000 people in 57 seconds or else a horned leprechaun will appear and shoot you in the penis with a nail gun.
Talking about football on television gets Chris Berman so steamy under the collar that it makes you wonder just what he was up to during the commercial break.
Dear Santa, how's the Mrs.? Have you given any thought to the arsenic? I promise it's painless. I promise I can make you feel young again.