Introducing Fetusbook for Your Unborn Baby
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Tag: Satire
The Greatest Minor League Baseball Scout
If you have a character flaw, Craig Ryburn is gonna find it. This is what has kept him in the trade for 34 years. He knows how to put everything on the smallest of tables.
Modern Austen III: What Does He Mean I’m Not Marriage Material?
If father and mother ever knew that I met Mr. Oxford at a seedy dive bar, or that I allowed him to kiss me on the cheek that night, they would never look at me again!
The Perfect Chain Letter, Part 2
If you don’t have any friends, you must forward this to 80,000 people in 57 seconds or else a horned leprechaun will appear and shoot you in the penis with a nail gun.
Is Chris Berman an NFL Sex Addict?
Talking about football on television gets Chris Berman so steamy under the collar that it makes you wonder just what he was up to during the commercial break.
A Desperate Love Letter to Santa
Dear Santa, how's the Mrs.? Have you given any thought to the arsenic? I promise it's painless. I promise I can make you feel young again.
The Illicit Meaning Behind the Lyrics to “Baby, It’s Cold Outside”
It's time to overanalyze another Christmas song that you'll NEVER EVER be able to hear again without your mind going to a very dark place.
The Tell-Tale Facebook Status
I spend most of my time bored and lonely on Facebook. And for that, I now know so much about my friends that it's awkward to actually be around them in person.
Yogi Berra: Cat Assassin
"When you get to the fork in the road, take it... then you'll find the feline and put a putty knife through its brain stem." This is the Yogi Berra you never knew.
I Thought We All Agreed to Pee in the Ocean
Oceans, as far as I was concerned, are considered full speed ahead. Open the floodgates. Yellow is mellow. Before you know it, a wave will dissipate the concern anyway.
Roseanne Barr: Leader of Men
There was no better leading man than Roseanne Barr. Even though he mysteriously mensed once a month, we learned what life was really like in the blue collar trenches.
The Indentured Student Loan
What I am proposing is a student loan program that will allow poor young people to go to university and be useful to society: I call it the Indentured Student Loan.