Where is Kim Jong-un? He’s Living in My Basement
As speculation of a North Korean coup heats up, everyone wants to know, where is Kim Jong-un? Unfortunately, I know the truth: he's living in my basement.
Tag: Satire
The Unappreciated, Aspiring Author Files an Auto Insurance Claim
The afternoon sunlight burst through my windshield with a Machiavellian magnificence, creating streaks of radiance dancing through my careening automobile.
I am the Mysterious “6th Beatle”
The world knows George, John, Ringo, Paul, and the apparent nine "5th Beatles." Well I am Henry J. Bradleighman of Bangladesh, the mysterious "6th Beatle."
The Secret History of ISIS
ISIS wasn't inspired by the prophet Muhammad, or even Mohamed Al-Fayed. It's a front for a formerly secret society of street thugs who played the Slender Man.
The Michael Cera Bowl on FOX
Two people with varying degrees of social anxiety are placed in a random setting, anything from happy hour to a funeral, and tasked with out-awkwarding each other.
Did Jesus Open Carry? A Sermon for the 21st Century
God so loved the world that he gave his ONLY BEGOTTEN SON, and furnished him with his only begotten semi-automatic in case anyone messed with his shit.
Does the Red Wine Industry Fund the Catholic Church?
How does the Catholic Church afford its increasing spending while revenue is declining? Sources say the red wine industry has been paying for product placement.
Welcome to Heaven, You Now Play the Harp
Welcome to Heaven! As I'm sure you can see, we're really quite busy. We hope this pamphlet answers all of your questions about your new musical eternity.
Dumbfounded Priest Officiates Soap Opera Wedding
Oh great, the ring bearer is Bryan, Ashley's TOTALLY PLATONIC best friend and brother of her husband, Ryan. Surely his rugged good looks won't fuel any drama.
Branding Yourself is the Key to Success in Life
How do you distinguish yourself among 14 billion or so other human beings around, all trying to be noticed? Simple: Sell yourself. Be a product. Become your own brand.
Texting Pictures of My Bulge is My Job
By day I practice my John Wayne walk and by night I send my bulge out to my entire contacts list. It's an international duty and a personal calling.
Vlad the Cartoonist, Son of Vlad the Impaler
How could Vlad possibly tell his father he wanted to graduate from UGA, move to LA, and become a cartoonist, not apprentice to become a sadistic mogul?