"Her butt is coming out first," my mom's ob-gyn told her six hours into her contractions. "This baby is just not the right fit."
Tag: New York
The Bronx Bondage – Tie your partner up, and just leave them there. Nothing is hotter than the anticipation. We condone being a tease.
I’m Queen Elsa from the “Frozen” Broadway Show and I’m Here to Announce Your Company’s Hiring Freeze
Thank goodness I’m still booking kindergarten graduations and Mormon cosplay through Cameo.
Yes, sir, the pharmacist is here, but we don’t use that word. Rajiv is our Chef de Prescriptions.
Project Runaway Train: Designers are placed on trains careening toward the edge of a cliff at groundbreaking speed.
We were dance partners for five years? And then you ditched me. But hey, no hard feelings. I’m not jealous. Not one tiny bit.
It is a well-known fact that only the most elite acquire specific, regional, life-threatening diseases as symbols of culture and refinement.
Long Live Supreme Leader Aegeus! May your light forever shine over your kingdom that is this fifth-floor walk up!
I first had to ask for money after I blew most of our family’s inheritance on boat trips with Kylie Jenner’s second cousin.
“Article II Looks Good On You” (The Journal of Bizarre Constitutional Arguments, December 2012)
A Woman I Went On Two Great, Early-In-The-Game Dates With: An incredible, staggeringly original human being who just appeared on the dating scene. 9.3
My backstory is abuse, the type doesn’t matter. Bullies, a family member, a boyfriend who is so overwhelmingly not in my league.