5 Ways to Tell If Your Dog is a Communist
We all love our dogs. But there is a very real and frightening issue of the growing communist threat. Here are five ways to tell if your dog is a Pinko.
Tag: Guides
A Brief Survival List for Z-Day
In an attempt to single-handedly save humanity from the impending arrival of zombies, I have compiled a survival list. Start preparing now, before you're eaten alive.
20 Brutally Honest Book Titles I’d Love to See
Including a book full of blank, empty pages for lonely, insecure young men titled: 'THE BENEFITS OF BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP.'
A Brief History of Phenomenally Unsuccessful Prison Gangs
Prevailing wisdom holds that joining a gang will provide protection to an inmate. But not always. This list offers an insight into the failures of incarcerated organized crime.
6 Tips to Identify and Avoid Overrated Bands
Timeless tips to avoid overrated bands, including avoiding bands with food in the title, bands that prey on childhood memories or evoke violence and more!
Which Facebook Status Abuser are You?
I have actually begun hiding people entirely from my Facebook news feed due to the following annoying habits. See which one you're guilty of...
The 10 Best Songs to Commit Suicide To
Sometimes you have to kill yourself. I understand, I've been there. When the mood strikes, put on one of these sweet tracks and shove a pitchfork through your neck.
10 Steps to Becoming the Ultimate Porn Champion
The golden rule: never pay for it. Heaving out money is a sign of defeat to the porn world. Wank before you bank. Plus more crucial advice.
Things Black People Can Wear That White People Can’t
If you know a white guy who wears sunglasses indoors, excessive jewelry, or straight-brimmed hats, please lecture him immediately.
Four Steps to Becoming a Successful Stalker
Step one: Initiate distant, longing stares. Steps two-four: engage in legally gray-area activities designed to win her over semi-forcefully.
Five People Who Will Ruin Your Super Bowl Party
Who could ruin all the fun for you and your fellow partygoers, you ask, on this, the most sacred of days? The Compulsive Gambler and the Girlfriend for starters.
The National Sports League Promoting Safe Sex and Contraception
The goal is to raise awareness for safe sex, kick-ass plays, abstinence, awesome defense, and contraceptives. We're just building on what the USC Trojans started.