5 Millennials You Can Rent to Enhance Your EDM Concert Squad
Whether you’re hitting up deadmau5, Crystal Castles, Com Truise, or your local heroin dealer's latest DJ attempt, we have a few choice millennials for you.
Tag: Guides
5 Indie Rock Breakouts You’ll Never Hear in 2017
Led by charismatic, one-armed Gethin Bedwyr, OctoFanggz combine swirling psychedelia with a somewhat severe German burlesque, sung entirely in Portuguese.
10 Dos and Don’ts for Finding a Handgun in the Living Room After a College Party
There might not even be a crime to convict you of, but this is not the time to assume there isn’t. Absolutely DO NOT get your fingerprints on it.
Selected Reviews from the 9 Worst Yelp-Reviewed Sperm Banks
My tuxedo-clad sperm steward Rene greeted me in French and explained, “All of our top grade sperme de France is aged to perfection."
5 Other Times Jill Stein Fucked It Up for Everybody Else
One look into Stein's past would have revealed some big clues to the total disaster wrought upon our country due to her very presence.
10 Tips for Successfully Getting Through College
To become a cognitively engaged multitasker , you must eventually be able to drink beer, watch porn, cry, and masturbate while realizing you're not lonely.
8 Planets With the Strangest Methods of Sexual Reproduction
Eight planets and the actual forms of reproduction by their inhabitants, verified as authentic by Scientology Monthly and USA Today.
A Tepid Guide to Starting a Band
Starting a band takes a lot of time, practice, and self-loathing. You truly need to hate yourself to get into the state of mind necessary for writing profound, echoing lyrics.
The Most Definitive Guide to Dogs (That I Know Of)
I've seen every dog under the sun (to my knowledge), so I thought why not deliver a little lesson in "Dog 101."
What Women Really Want on Valentine’s Day
Valentine's Day seduction tips so that one day she may say, “Yes.” From someone who has never been in a relationship (for obvious reasons).
An Idiot’s Guide to Grieving After an Acquaintance Dies
As you get older, more of your acquaintances will die, and you'll get better at saying the right things in public. But the first time it happens, it's a little awkward.
The 9 Worst German Beers, Tested
Germany has some of the best damn beers in the world. And unfortunately I'm not drinking any of them, because I can't afford too.