A few months ago, my buddy Shaun and I were hangin out in his trailer drinkin on a Saturday afternoon. We were bored and decided that it'd be fun to draw cartoons of our friends, making a comic strip. So, we grabbed a sharpie each and a few paper plates (we didn't have any fucking paper, believe it or not) and started drawing.
First, we had McCoy.
McCoy is always, and I mean always, late. He'll say something like “I'll be there after I take a shower” which generally means “I'll be there after I take a shower, a nap, rub one out, make dinner and ponder the existence of God for four hours.” In fact, a little staple drinking game we have is called “Waitin' for McCoy” which involves vodka and getting drunk way before McCoy is even called.
Also, McCoy loves Miller High Life. He drinks it like it really is the Champagne of Beers (laughable?).
McCoy's character:
Pokey the Highlife Turtle.
We eventually had cartoons for every one of our good friends. Phil was a mouse called Tablescraps (on account of the fact he'll do anything), Chris was an angry thundercloud called Brick Attack, Sam was Bling-Bling the 3D ghost, Josh was the “I'm Going to Michelle's” talking talkbubble, etc. etc.
Well, at the end of our time, we noticed that we had forgot our buddy Matt, so we sat for a bit and then decided his character should show how he is. His name: I ONCE DISCOVERED AMERICA BEFORE COLUMBUS 5 TIMES!!1111.
Then, I added a few things to make this little cartoon…
A few nights ago, I get a series of text messages that went….
Matt: I hope that shit on facebook isn't about me
Nick: What shit?
Matt: some cartoon about me not liking the power eye
(he did misspell the power eye, by the by)
Nick: Yeah, it's a “joke”
Matt: I don't find your jokes funny
Nick: Well some people do
Matt: I just don't understand making fun of your friends
Nick: That's because you have a vagina
Matt: That shit makes me angry.
Nick: OHHHHH.
Matt: I hate your jokes
And I stopped talking to him.
Now, if I'm not mistaken, Matt is acting like a complete and total fuckjob. First of all, making fun of your buddies is a God-give RIGHT. And you know what? I love making fun of people just as much as the next guy. It's a good way to bond if you can dish out a good insult while accepting a few good burns on yourself. Also, getting made fun of isn't nearly so bad. I mean, if you look for five minutes on PIC, you'll find somebody poking fun at me. Hell, Rebello and I used to do it as a competition of sorts.
But that's not the reason I'm here bitching. It turns out that Matt has stopped picking up for my calls and has unfacebook friended me. That's fucking hilarious to me. Why?
Okay. At some point he had to have thought, “I'M GOING TO GET HIM! I'LL SHOW HIM! I'LL MAKE US NOT FACEBOOK FRIENDS! THAT'LL REALLY HURT HIM!”
Nope. I have no interest in hanging out with little bitches who can't take a little joke.
So, dear readers, am I so wrong for wanting to pick on my friends? Aren't guys supposed to man up and just try to get their buddies back instead of stupid passive-aggressive stupidity?
That's the question I'm asking. Let's hear your opinion.