Random Guy Sitting Next to me at the Bar: You get the idea?
Me: We weren't talking.
RGSNB: Who was I talking to, then?
Me: I don't know.
RGSNB: You're not much help.
RGSNB: Hey man, you want to hear the idea?
Me: What's your name?
RGSNB: My name. My name? Why you wanta know my name?
Me: I don't trust a man who can't tell me his name.
RGSNB: You see I'm smiling?
Me: Yeah.
RGSNB: That's 'cause I like you.
Me: Great.
RGSNB: Jack. My name is jack.
Me: Hi, Jack. I'm Nate. Nice to meet you. Now, what's this idea you were talkin' about?
Jack: Man. I don't fucking remember anymore. You're a confusing brother, you know that?
Me: Sadly, yes.
Jack: Oh, I remember.
Me: Remember what?
Jack: The idea.
Me: What was the idea, Jack?
Jack: It was for you to tell me where the bitches at?
Me: Follow the money, Jack. Follow the money.
Jack: Man, I knew I liked you.
Jack: Let me ask you a question.
Me: I ain't stopped you yet.
Jack: You got a girlfriend?
Me: You see that's more than one question.
Jack: No it ain't. You seem like a smart guy but I'm pretty sure I counted myself asking you only one question.
Me: The answer always leads into other questions, though.
Jack: No it doesn't. Just answer it.
Me: Fucking, okay dude. Yes, I have a girlfriend.
Jack: What's she like?
Me: That's another question.
Jack: Yeah, but just one.
Me: Save that shit for the tourists, man. The locals ain't buying.
Jack: Man, I knew I liked you.
Jack: You ever wonder why it is that don't no one give a shit about anyone else?
Me: Nope.
Jack: Why not?
Me: Why should I?
Jack” ‘Cause it's the only way we're ever gonna find peace and love, brother.
Me: Are you hitting on me?
Jack: No. No. I ain't hitting on. But I do like you though. And I have been drinking?
Me: You touch me and I yell rape.
Amber: Who the hell was that dude?
Me: That was Jack.
Amber: Jack tips like shit.
Me: Maybe, but I'm sure he likes you.
Amber: Like I give a shit.
Labels: snippets