People ask me why I make no sense.
I say,
I speak from experience.
More Humor
We Can Change the World (We Won’t Though)
We could save the world, but there are a bunch of new shows on and a couple of cute girls coming over because I informed them that I brought over these drugs. So, nah.
The Snippets Restrain Themselves
Me: So you have a restraining order on your live-in boyfriend? How do you work that?
Billie: It's easy. He loves me. And I love him... from five hundred feet anyway.
Observations Like Kansas City Style Ebola
I really hope you're super afraid of Ebola. Because I heard that terrorists are gonna use Ebola as a biological weapon.