A Winner’s Guide to Casino-Riches
Forget everything you know about gambling and put on your winner's hat. If you bet on red long enough, there's no way you'll end up in the black.
Comedy Writing
How to Outsmart a Scantron Test
Not to burst your bubble or anything, but when a test is graded by a robot, you're going to need some advanced study techniques.
Platinum Pussy: It’s Everywhere You Want to Be!
Ladies, you've been pre-approved for everything you desire. Just learn to milk your man for every last drop that he's worth and it's truly priceless.
Why Does Everyone Want Me So Bad?
I conducted a little survey to find out how badly I am wanted. I took this survey and I found that 100% of people want me. I mean it’s basic math.
Masturbation: The Touchy Subject
Plagued by guilt over your naughty habit?! Learn the no-fail rationalization for self-pleasure through the six-step acronym known as RADISH.
PIC 5th Anniversary Prohibition Party
<img src="https://www.pointsincase.com/party/images/prohibition_stamp.jpg" align="right">Next month PIC turns 5, and the repeal of prohibition turns 72. In honor of those occasions, I wanted to liquor up an entire nursing home and then encourage them to beat up a class of pre-schoolers. Then I thought why waste alcohol on a bunch of grandparents when I can beat these kids up myself.
Before and After Party
It's your typical off-campus house party, highlighted by the obligatory keg or three. But did it really meet all your expectations?
The Art and Science of Bullshit
In order to minimize your academic workload and maximize your partying time, you must learn to spot and take advantage of bullshit opportunities.
Dishwashing, Call Waiting, and Bandwagon Hating
I don't understand these people who claim to not be able to use a dishwasher. There is nothing to KNOW, unless you have trouble pouring detergent or pressing "start" buttons.
Internships: The Corporate Travesty
It's hard to imagine companies funneling hard-earned revenues into temporary employees who build Styrofoam cup villages.
College Relationships, Multiple Choice, and Senior Status
Have you ever realized how much GPAs have in common with golf scores? You’ll always remember the only two semesters you were on par.
Dorm Showers, Robotic Professors, and Drunken Caretaking
Dorm showering is strange. Never again will you have to shower wearing sandals while talking to six friends doing the same thing a half-wall away.