"Print out a prepaid shipping label." We’re aware there’s no logical reason for a partly-employed 24-year-old to have a printer.
Brave ideas drowned in a sea of silence. That’s a direct quote from "Rat Sex in Outer Space" and it applies here.
It’s true that after I woke up from my forty-five-year coma last week, I was tempted to change gears. But I couldn’t temper my passion.
The possibilities are endless due to your contribution. You could be used to study telepathy, astral projecting, homeopathy, ESP, and many more.
I plan to hit the ground running, and then run some more, and then more, then hit a wall, and then puke on your open laptop.
A love letter, never sent / Pocket Bible (illustrated) / Hard candies, all unwrapped / Sack of flour dressed like a baby, for practice
I have never taken contracts from the Department of Defense, the CIA, FEMA, or Burkina Faso. Our biggest buyer last year was Betty Hansen.
You have dreams of leaving your hometown for some far away place you can reinvent yourself, some wild and distant land like Minneapolis.
First there was a cluck-cluck here, then a cluck-cluck there, but soon my nightmares were filled with the cooings and cawings of the foulest fowl.
I have a team of techs going over every inch of your apartment. I also know we could find so many hilarious props around here.
You’re gonna want a place near bars, delis, and neighborhood laundromats. These are full of characters who will be furiously vague witnesses.
Shut Up: How Talking Makes It Harder to Communicate and Causes Large Fires / Dogs: They Were Puppies Once / Losers: The Real Winners, Who Lost