I plan to hit the ground running, and then run some more, and then more, then hit a wall, and then puke on your open laptop.
A love letter, never sent / Pocket Bible (illustrated) / Hard candies, all unwrapped / Sack of flour dressed like a baby, for practice
I have never taken contracts from the Department of Defense, the CIA, FEMA, or Burkina Faso. Our biggest buyer last year was Betty Hansen.
You have dreams of leaving your hometown for some far away place you can reinvent yourself, some wild and distant land like Minneapolis.
First there was a cluck-cluck here, then a cluck-cluck there, but soon my nightmares were filled with the cooings and cawings of the foulest fowl.
I have a team of techs going over every inch of your apartment. I also know we could find so many hilarious props around here.
You’re gonna want a place near bars, delis, and neighborhood laundromats. These are full of characters who will be furiously vague witnesses.
Shut Up: How Talking Makes It Harder to Communicate and Causes Large Fires / Dogs: They Were Puppies Once / Losers: The Real Winners, Who Lost
Gold Plus-tier now has copay-free pharmaceuticals to treat any gases or poisons accidentally released from the many easily accessible air vents.
Those schemes you see online always rely on poor saps buying whatever vitamin powder or skin cream you’re hawking. Ridiculous, right?
You refuse to wear me because of my stale odor but you refuse to wash me for I have not been worn! This chaotic torment tears my mind asunder!
So please tell me it’s a good idea to set a discrete fire in his wastebasket and blame it on his vape pen. That’s what I’m going to do.