Archive: 2005

Happy Freaking Birthday

Your 21st birthday is momentous. After that, you'll be lucky if friends remember your birthday, more or less force alcohol down your throat.

The 8-Second Bra Lines

When a guy takes off a girl's bra mid-hookup, there is an 8-second threshold when things start to get awkward if things aren't undone yet.

Infomania Schminfomania

According to <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/4471607.stm">new research</a>, "infomania" has a larger negative impact on your IQ than "marijuana." In case your not familiar with it, marijuana is a green aromatic plant that some deviant young adults (and aging hippies) use to get "high."<br />

I Leap Over Their Heads

<p>I got a legitimate email today (not some anonymous Nigerian man requesting my help transferring millions of dollars in funds from the Ivory Coast) from someone who started his email by addressing me as "Little Court." That's right, not "Dear Court" or "Court-" or "Court," or "Dear Webmaster" or "Hello" or "Listen up" or "Yo dude" or "Your royal highness".....but "LITTLE COURT."<br />

My first girlfriend with blonde hair reading a note

My First Girlfriend

In 6th grade, I went out with a girl named Shanna. She was outgoing and out of my league, and I was shy and a center fielder for the Blue Jays.

Imperfect Timing

According to the sun, there are 24 hours in a "day." Most people spend about 16 of those hours awake, and 8 asleep.<br /><br />According to my biological clock, there are 28 hours in a day. I spend about 19 of those hours awake and 9 asleep. This makes for a very awkward "weekly" schedule, since my biological week is actually only 6 "days."<br />

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