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About Nick Gaudio
Hometown
Cumberland, Maryland
School
West Virginia University
At a Glance
Nick Gaudio attended THE West Virginia University. There, he was editor-in-chief of Calliope, the award-winning undergraduate literary journal. In his spare time, Nick liked to write, read, and show off his penis. He is currently working on a novel that incorporates all of these.
Recent Comments
WVU Professor Fun!
Posted October 5th, 2006 by Nick Gaudio
Over the course of my time here at WVU, I've had some funny experiences with my professors.
Here are a few I remember well.
TA: Why do I keep hearing about the "Oedipus complex" today? Isn't that strange? I've heard it at least ten times today.
Me: I guess you've heard a lot about it because you have it...
TA: Actually, come to think of it...I do. I have Oedipus complex by proxy, though... I want to fuck YOUR mother.
Class: Ohhhhhhhhh.
Me: ....powned.
-My mother is happily married, thank you very much.
-----
Hot Prof: So Nick, what did you do for your boyfriend for Valentine's Day?
Me: Hah-hah, gay joke at my expense, you win.
Hot Prof: But really, what did you do for your girlfriend?
Me: I don't have a girlfriend.
Hot Prof: Oh really? I find that hard to believe
Class: *snicker*
Me: I suppose we could change that after class, what are you doin?
Hot Prof: I'm married.
Me: You're married? I find that hard to believe.
Hot Prof: Yep, straight people can get married.
-I'd still do her.
-----
Indian Prof: ONE TURD PLUS TWO TURD IS THREE TURD
Random redneck: haha, what's that? One turd plus two turds is three turds?!
Indian Prof: ONE TURD PLUS TWO--oh. Dat iz not wat I meant.
-Calc I, after our second test, Redneck decided to argue his test score. He couldn't do basic math.
-----
Random kid #1: penis.
Random kid #2: Penis...
#1: PEnis
#2: PENis
#1: PENIs
#2: PENIS!
Prof: While those two discuss their plans for this evening...would anybody like to tell me why Frost uses the image of a penis in this poem? I mean...wall. Wall. Not a penis. A wall.
Class: hahahaha
Prof: Ah, damn....okay....you know what? Get out a piece of paper, we're having a quiz. (jokingly)
#2: On penises?
Prof: No. On weed. I figured I'd give you the benefit of the doubt.
-Two stoners, an old High School game, and a Freudian penis.
-----
Prof: So who in here listens to NAZ?
Class: What?
Prof: Naz...you know, the hip hop artist...
Class: You mean Nas?
Prof: I'm 54-years-old.... just answer the damned question.
-African American Lit Fun
-----
Me: I like your hat!
Prof: You like your GPA?
Me: Yeah...
Prof: Then don't insult my hat again.
-It was a Russian rat fur hat, for Christ sake.
-----
Me: I think, by saying that she is coming, Whitman is actually relating her to Christ.
Prof: I don't think he's talking about Jesus...
- First and last time perversion has slipped by me. Fuck you, Walt Whitman
Here are a few I remember well.
TA: Why do I keep hearing about the "Oedipus complex" today? Isn't that strange? I've heard it at least ten times today.
Me: I guess you've heard a lot about it because you have it...
TA: Actually, come to think of it...I do. I have Oedipus complex by proxy, though... I want to fuck YOUR mother.
Class: Ohhhhhhhhh.
Me: ....powned.
-My mother is happily married, thank you very much.
-----
Hot Prof: So Nick, what did you do for your boyfriend for Valentine's Day?
Me: Hah-hah, gay joke at my expense, you win.
Hot Prof: But really, what did you do for your girlfriend?
Me: I don't have a girlfriend.
Hot Prof: Oh really? I find that hard to believe
Class: *snicker*
Me: I suppose we could change that after class, what are you doin?
Hot Prof: I'm married.
Me: You're married? I find that hard to believe.
Hot Prof: Yep, straight people can get married.
-I'd still do her.
-----
Indian Prof: ONE TURD PLUS TWO TURD IS THREE TURD
Random redneck: haha, what's that? One turd plus two turds is three turds?!
Indian Prof: ONE TURD PLUS TWO--oh. Dat iz not wat I meant.
-Calc I, after our second test, Redneck decided to argue his test score. He couldn't do basic math.
-----
Random kid #1: penis.
Random kid #2: Penis...
#1: PEnis
#2: PENis
#1: PENIs
#2: PENIS!
Prof: While those two discuss their plans for this evening...would anybody like to tell me why Frost uses the image of a penis in this poem? I mean...wall. Wall. Not a penis. A wall.
Class: hahahaha
Prof: Ah, damn....okay....you know what? Get out a piece of paper, we're having a quiz. (jokingly)
#2: On penises?
Prof: No. On weed. I figured I'd give you the benefit of the doubt.
-Two stoners, an old High School game, and a Freudian penis.
-----
Prof: So who in here listens to NAZ?
Class: What?
Prof: Naz...you know, the hip hop artist...
Class: You mean Nas?
Prof: I'm 54-years-old.... just answer the damned question.
-African American Lit Fun
-----
Me: I like your hat!
Prof: You like your GPA?
Me: Yeah...
Prof: Then don't insult my hat again.
-It was a Russian rat fur hat, for Christ sake.
-----
Me: I think, by saying that she is coming, Whitman is actually relating her to Christ.
Prof: I don't think he's talking about Jesus...
- First and last time perversion has slipped by me. Fuck you, Walt Whitman
1 Comments
Ahhh the penis game. Just good clean fun. Unless you have herpes.
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