College Quotes
Rob: I thought everyone was going to the Dog's Bullocks?
Kyle: Well, no one's leaving yet.
Rob: Guess we'll have to pull the fire alarm to get everyone out. Why do we have to be the responsible ones all the time?
-On sparking a movement
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About Jake Christie
Hometown
Washington, ME
School
University of Southern Maine
At a Glance
Jake Christie has a degree in Media Studies at the University of Southern Maine, if you're into that sort of thing.
Recent Comments
News Bites
By Jake Christie | Sep 10, 2007
| Comments (3) | Submit an article |
Oversalted burger leads to charges
A McDonalds employee is facing criminal charges for giving a police officer a burger so salty that it made the man sick. Lab results show that the problem was not an overabundance of salt, but the lack of spit, semen, and feces that found its way into most of the officer's previous burgers. "I knew something was off," the man said. "Normally I get the best burgers from the underprivileged fast food employees who I fuck with, but this one didn't have that special 'oomph' I've come to expect."
Brain function of liberals, conservatives differs
A new study shows that the brain functions of liberals and conservatives differ when confronted with difficult choices. When confronted with the question of how both parties could put aside their differences and work together to help the country, for example, the conservative brain ceased functioning, while the liberal brain simply stopped working.
Sony shows rolling music player
Sony has announced a new music player called "The Rolly," which lights up, spins around, and rolls across the floor. Sure, it's funny now, but when someone plugs in the Exorcist theme and throws it into your room at 2 AM, it will be a different story. The "I peed my pants because of a robot" story. Again.
A McDonalds employee is facing criminal charges for giving a police officer a burger so salty that it made the man sick. Lab results show that the problem was not an overabundance of salt, but the lack of spit, semen, and feces that found its way into most of the officer's previous burgers. "I knew something was off," the man said. "Normally I get the best burgers from the underprivileged fast food employees who I fuck with, but this one didn't have that special 'oomph' I've come to expect."
Brain function of liberals, conservatives differs
A new study shows that the brain functions of liberals and conservatives differ when confronted with difficult choices. When confronted with the question of how both parties could put aside their differences and work together to help the country, for example, the conservative brain ceased functioning, while the liberal brain simply stopped working.
Sony shows rolling music player
Sony has announced a new music player called "The Rolly," which lights up, spins around, and rolls across the floor. Sure, it's funny now, but when someone plugs in the Exorcist theme and throws it into your room at 2 AM, it will be a different story. The "I peed my pants because of a robot" story. Again.
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