For most of us who love sports, life has bursts of happiness, but is more often the object of melancholy, kind of like living with a promiscuous lesbian who looks like Kathy Bates but gets hot girlfriends. When teams don't win, something has to change, and more often than not it results in someone getting fired. Read More »

If you've been following the news lately, which I haven't, you'll probably see a lot of anger in the world. Some of it is from a populated cornfield burning LeBron jerseys and Read More »

Some men are born to be leaders, others are bred to lead, and a handful pull themselves up by their own bootstraps through hard work and dedication. And then there's Ron Artest. Ron is an enigma, surrounded by a paradox, wrapped up in a non sequitur, and covered with bleached blonde hair with something shaved into it. Ron recently achieved something few basketball players ever will: winning the NBA championship, and the ring that comes with it, which he will no doubt melt down to create a spare set of keys for his garage. Read More »

With the NBA and NHL season drawing to a close, I have to find something new to watch; and no, I'm not going to watch baseball—I'd rather watch a live feed of the oil leak for three hours. Fortunately, this year is special, because the World Cup is here. I'm not sure if you've heard, probably due to the vuvuzelas droning out all other noise in the area. Read More »

Yesterday I tuned into Larry King (because my remote was broken) and I was surprised to see James Cameron on the show talking about the oil spill. This surprised me; James Cameron is not a marine biologist or an environmentalist, he's the guy who collects small golden statues of naked men. Read More »

This weekend, I cut ties with my gym of many years because I'll no longer be living close to it. This breakup meant that I would have to go and get my clothes from the gym locker, the same stuff I had forgotten I had ever worn, and figure out a way to dispose of it. This is that story.

FADE IN:

INT. CHANGE ROOM Read More »

Ladies and gentlemen, we have reached the end of an era. Think back with me to a time in the distant past, way back when you first heard that 4-letter acronym that changed your life forever: MILF. Many teenagers became obsessed over the word, using it to describe nearly every mom they met after that point. Read More »

Since I live in a small town, there's rarely anything to do past 9pm other than see a movie. That being said, I've seen most major (and minor) films that have been in theaters. You would think that this love for cinema would inspire a post about the greatest actors of our time or something about the philosophical gravity that Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel had on me. Read More »

Everybody in rap music wants to be considered a mogul; that's why 50 Cent has Vitamin Water and B-list musicians end up with perfume lines. A true mogul must not only be able to cover music, but also have an expensive alcohol that they relentlessly promote and a clothing accessory to put their signature on and sell for double the money. Read More »

I'm not sure if you've seen the Usher video for "OMG," which is possibly the best named song of all time, after "LOL :)" by Trey Songz, but it features William... er sorry, I mean will.i.am, making exaggerated hand movements while in a kilt. Read More »

If you take a look back through the ages, every decade has had their own style: the 70's had bell-bottoms and acid, the 80's had leg warmers and Prince, and the 90's had baggy jeans and white kids acting like black men. Read More »

First off I would like to say welcome to Gay for Girls. I've tried to set low expectations while writing for PIC, but apparently that doesn't work and they've given me my own column. Just what I wanted, more work. Read More »