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Christmas Stalkings!
>>> Ask Nicole
By staff writer
Nicole McKaig
December 18, 2003
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Dear Nicole,
I broke up with my boyfriend two weeks ago because he was too
clingy. Now it's like he's stalking me. One of my friends
even said, "If we find you dead, we'll know who did it." I'm
not actually scared of him at all, but it's getting
annoying. What should I do?
Kisha
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Dear Kisha,
Even if you're not scared of him, you should take extra
precautions to ensure you're safety. Always carry a
flashlight and some pepper spray, and try not to go anywhere
alone at night. If you do get murdered, remember: don't
panic. Just crawl to the nearest phone and call the coroner.
Sincerely,
Nicole
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Dear Nicole,
You posted my question last week, and I took your advice and
stuck to my principles. My girlfriend gave me an ultimatum
to say I loved her, but since she lies and cheats all the
time, I couldn’t say it. My friends told me that hooking up
would help me move on, but after I’m with a chick I just
find myself wishing it was her. I miss her so much, I don’t
know if I can move on. Help!
Torn in Tampa
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Dear Torn,
In most cases, I’d tell you that’s what you get for taking
advice from some random blonde chick on the internet.
However, this time I was right, and you were right to stand
your ground. As far as moving on, why don’t you take a tip
from an ex-boyfriend of mine. He was able to reinvigorate
his love life by making his new girlfriend use my shampoo.
Aside from being ultra-creepy, and an incontrovertible
indication of severe psychogenic disturbance, it’s a great
idea.
Sincerely,
Nicole
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Dear Nicole,
I have become extremely attracted to my best girl friend. She
is pretty much like a sister to me. We have the same group
of friends, and we’re all very close. How can I tell her how
I feel with out making her feel awkward or weirded out?
Jon
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Dear Jon,
Ask one of your friends to find out if she feels the same way
about you. If she doesn’t, telling her is a bad idea.
Instead, I suggest you mount a charm offensive, wearing down
her defenses with sudden, violent onslaughts of irresistible
gallantry and seduction. If you decide to ignore my advice
and tell her anyway, put her at ease by somehow
incorporating a JumbTron.
Sincerely,
Nicole
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Got something on your mind? Ask Nicole:
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| Nicole McKaigearned a BA in Psychology from Seattle Pacific University and recently graduated from Cal State University with an MS in Criminology. As a girl, she was raised by an enchanting gaggle of friendly woodland creatures in the foothills of the Pacific Northwest, where she frolicked in lush green meadows by day and nested in a cozy thicket by night. She currently exists in post-grad limbo near Seattle, where she survives by scavenging for bits of bread overlooked by native waterfowl. Please submit your innermost problems and superficial worries for Nicole to solve! |
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