Lately we’ve been hearing
a lot from Nate about the Bulls, but today it’s time for a
little dose of something else. For those of you who live in caves
(but somehow have the internet and are reading this), last night my
Stanford Cardinal (not the bird, the shade of red) beat the USC
Trojans. That was followed by heavy, heavy drinking, and a lot of
burning things in the quad.
Anyway, because I’ve got this little corner of the internet where I can write
more or less anything I desire, this week you get a list of why we’re awesome
and USC fans should hang their heads in shame. Back to regular programming next
week.
Last week, we lost to Arizona State. By 38 points. Though, that’s a little
less about why we’re awesome and more about USC
head-shame-hanging.
Our starting quarterback recently suffered a seizure, and couldn’t play in
the game. The quarterback who did play had never started a single game. Then he
beat USC.
Not only did we win, we won at the Coliseum.
Not only did we win at the Coliseum, we snapped a 35-game win streak at home
for USC. Just for reference, the last time their home win streak was snapped was
six years ago. By us.
USC is the number 2 ranked team in the nation. And by is, I mean was. Now
they’re number 10. That’s what happens when you lose to an unranked team.
Four interceptions thrown by Booty.
That’s John David Booty, who’s the starting quarterback for the former
number 2 team in the country. I can’t remember if I mentioned it, but our
quarterback was a backup for an unranked team.
Seriously, have you ever heard of Tavita Pritchard? Yeah, neither had I.
Last year, we won one game.
This is arguably the biggest upset this season in college football, and
that’s a season that started with Appalachian State
beating Michigan.
Come on kids, we beat USC. Fuckin’ University of Southern California. All
they have is football and a good film school. I’m gonna make a movie and beat
them in some film contest just to fully seal this victory.
We’re the worst team in the Pac-10. They’re the best. Hell, we’ve got so
little respect that even after beating them, we’re still unranked.
Alright, I’m pretty much out now – sorry Court, this one’s gonna be a little
short.
Alex’s Video Corner
My bad on forgetting about this last week, but I’ll give you a few for the
price of one to make it up this week. This particular series is called
Unforgivable.
Pack your bowl, and give them a watch.
Alex Willen is currently a student at Stanford University, and he counts on the prestige of the school's name to make up for the fact that he constantly takes the minimum number of units and still fails to go to class. Alex has neither a major nor career aspirations, but now that he's published on PIC, he's content to sit back and wait for his internet cult following to build up and start sending him money.
