It's the Little Things That Say "I Stalk You"

(Outside card / inside card)

1. Just a little card to say "I'm thinking of you" / I would tell you in person, but the restraining order puts me just out of earshot.
2. You don't have to be my friend on social networks / That's what unsecured Wi-Fi connections are for.
3. I would never refer to you as "trash" / Even though that's how I know everything about you.
4. Don't listen to what other people say / I "like" your Facebook status no matter what.
5. I see your bare legs under the dressing room door / What is that now, dress number forty-four?
6. Google didn't tell me much about you / But your Hotmail account should probably have a tougher password.
7. Don't be mad that I'm following your Twitter / Be happy I'm not following your car.
8. You left your back door unlocked! / Careful, there are a lot of crazies out there.
9. Just when it seems like the love you get is never equal to the love you give... / Surprise, I'm in your bed!
10. Congratulations on your new baby girl / Does this mean you'll be breast feeding in public?