You Might Have a Big Penis If...
Following up on the recent roommate penis situation, I'd like to identify those times when you know your OWN penis is probably more than you can handle. And since I'm from Alabama, I feel it's only appropriate that I adopt the comedic style of Jeff Foxworthy. Without further adieu,You Might Have a Big Penis If...
-If you find women in general to be shallow, but not because of their personalities...you might have a big penis.
-If you have to go to the pantry to measure your manhood, because that's where the yardstick is...you might have a big penis.
-If your girlfriend frequently gets a black eye during sex, and it's not the result of an abusive relationship...you might have a big penis.
-If the doctor said, "Here comes the head!" when you were born, followed by "Here comes the shaft!"...you might have a big penis.
-If you occasionally receive natural male enhancement spam email, and have never ONCE opened one out of curiousity...you might have a big penis.
-If you're looking for a fake microphone to hold while singing along to the radio in the shower, and the first thing you grab is your morning wood...you might have a big penis.
-If you have ever sensed that the dildo sitting on your girlfriend's dresser is steadily growing more and more jealous of you...you might have a big penis.
-If you have ever admired Ron Jeremy for anything other than his penis...you might be gay. Don't worry, other men will probably like you because...you might have a big penis.
-If people ask you if that's a gun, or if you're just happy to see them, and you usually respond with "neither"...you might have a big penis.
-If you've always thought briefs were just something to hold your balls...you might have a big penis.
-If you finally felt empathy for your last girlfriend after hearing about workers suffocating to death in a mine shaft...you probably have a big penis.
-If you drop your pants for a testicular exam, and your doctor coughs before you do...you might have a big penis.
Add your own in the comments! Then read "You Might Have a Small Penis If..."
Court jested @ 12:45 PM | permalink |
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-If you have to widen one leg on every pair of pants you own... you might have a big penis.
-If you can't wear shorts without being arrested for indecency... you might have a big penis.
-If you require an extra shin guard when you play football... you might have a big penis.
- If you're 6 feet tall and have to use the kiddie urinal...you might have a big penis.
- If you call your penis your 'rod' because it's the most applicable unit of measurement...you might have a big penis.
- If you have to put blinking lights on your nighttime erections...you might have a big penis.
- If your foreskin doubles as a parachute...you might have a big penis.
- If you use the word 'fathom' when describing size...you might have a big penis.
- If a silo looks eerily familiar...you might have a big penis
- If you use a trash bag as a condom... you might have a big penis
If you never need to carry an umbrella... you might have a big penis.
If someone gasps and you think they're offering you oral sex, because that's what your girlfriends have done everytime they're about to give you oral sex, then you might have a big penis.
Really it could be many things though like your urethra could be an emoticon or something, I'd really prefer you not jump to conclusions.
If a female King Kong carries you around for 3 hours, you might have a big penis.
If you see the movie Dr. Strangelove, and are instantly reminded of the last time you went skydiving, you might have a big penis.
If your girlfriend says she feels you are growing apart, yet your relationship is still very emotionally intact, you might have a big penis.
If you dog barks every time you get naked, you might have a vacuum cleaner for a penis.
If your tailor measures your inseam more than twice - you might have a big penis.
If you leave the lights on during sex for the sake of safety - you might have a big penis.
If you have more jock straps than regular underwear - you might have a big penis.
If you Pole-vault out of bed every morning - you might have a big penis.
If you know how cold your toilet water is - you might have a big penis.
-If you get an erection while lying in bed and you're first concern is the ceiling fan... you might have a big penis.
-If you can cross your legs and still work the clutch in your car... you might have a big penis.
-If you've ever stood at the entrance of a cave and muttered to yourself, "This'll do." ... you have an enormous penis.
-If you wrote a comdey article explaning how big your penis is for the front page of Pointsincase.com
If your girlfriend says she feels you are growing apart, yet your relationship is still very emotionally intact, you might have a big penis.
If you dog barks every time you get naked, you might have a vacuum cleaner for a penis.
these two sent me over the edge...of my penis.
If you've ever tried to fuck an elevator shaft... you might have a big penis.
If you've ever banged your shin and bruised your shaft... you might have a big penis.
If you've ever used an empty punch bowl for a cup... you might have a big penis.
If you've ever poked youself in the eye with anything other than your finger... you might have a big penis.
If you've ever made a black woman say "Daiyum!"... you might have a big penis.
If you've ever used a sleeping bag to masturbate, you might have a big penis.
If girls dont seem to mind that you're missing half your skull, you might have a big penis.
If you're 6'2... lying down, you definately have a big penis.
If girls smile when they see your crotch then you have a large member
-if you run for the train, but only your penis gets on... you might have a big penis
-if you leave your penis as a trail so you dont get lost...you might have a big penis
-if you kick people in the head everytime you get hard...you might have a big penis
-if you need to drive a minibus because a car is too small...you might have a big penis
If your girlfriend's fingernails are embedded in the wardrobe...you might have a big penis.
If your morning wood could double as a tent for 6 but the bed sheet isn't quite big enough...you might have a big penis
If Ringling Bros. have ever hired you to pitch their tent... you might have a big penis. Or be a carney.
If you've ever used it for a belt... you might have a big penis.
If you can set your VCR from the couch with your hands behind your head... you might have a big penis, and good aim.
If you don't need a bat to play baseball... you might have a big penis.
If you get light-headed and pass out everytime you get a hard-on... you might have a big penis.
If your penis curves to the right... and the left... you might have a big penis.
If you can get friction on a pickle jar... well it might not be long, but it is definitely wide... you might have a big penis.
If your girlfriend's jaw hurts a lot every day...you might have a big penis.
If swinging your shaft alone can cool off a room...you might have a big penis.
If your own two hands only cover half of your manhood...you might have a big penis.
If your sought out to participate in an underwear contest - you might have a big penis.
If you seek a partner without a gag-reflex - you might have a big penis.
If you see your new sex partners’ excitement change to fear when you say you’re not hard yet - you might have a big penis.
If you have a ruler handy by your bedside to satisfy a frequent request - you might have a big penis.
If you’re able to masturbate yourself while fully penetrating your partner - you might have a big penis.
If your lover needs a wheel chair to get around after intercourse - you might have a big penis.
Great Article! Thank You!
Thanks to author! I like articles like this, very interesting.
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