He Was Looking Smooth with the Jewelry

District Attorney: The State calls Rayshawn Goldfarb.

Goldfarb: It's an honor to be sitting here, next to the judge.

DA: You are here to answer some questions about what you saw on the night of June 12. Do you recall what you were doing that evening?

Goldfarb: Of course I remember, I've been going over it all morning with my lawyer.

DA: Alright, what were you doing the evening of June 12th?

Goldfarb: Watching the Lakers play the Celtics.

DA: Alright. Now, what happened after that?

Goldfarb: It's hard to remember. I think Kobe was in foul trouble pretty early...

DA: What I mean is, what happened while you were watching the game?

Goldfarb: The phone rang, and it was my friend Donny Koh.

DA: And what did he say?

Goldfarb: He told me to get to Westminster and Fordham on the double.

DA: And that's a location in the City of East Palo Alto?

Goldfarb: Yeah.

DA: Did Mr. Koh say anything more?

Goldfarb: No.

DA: Alright. Now, you drove to that intersection, correct?

Goldfarb: Yeah.

DA: And what did you see when you got there?

Goldfarb: I saw Nathaniel Horowitz standing next to Danny Schneidermann.

DA: And both of these men are residents of the city of East Palo Alto?

Goldfarb: Yeah.

DA: Alright, now, how would you characterize the appearance of Mr. Schneidermann?

Goldfarb: His jewelry was gleaming like a motherfucker under that streetlight.

DA: Alright. Did you notice anything else about his appearance?

Goldfarb: His ice was twinkling and glistening.

DA: Was there anything else unusual or peculiar about the appearance of Mr. Schneidermann?

Goldfarb: He was looking smooth with the jewelry.

DA: No further questions.