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Human relationships getting stale? Save time, breath, and money by investing in the emotional and sexual stability of a lifelike robot model.
Tag: Satire
Why Does Everyone Want Me So Bad?
I conducted a little survey to find out how badly I am wanted. I took this survey and I found that 100% of people want me. I mean it’s basic math.
Macy’s World’s Largest Bombing Display
Macy's takes on the NYPD in front of cheering thousands in this spectacularly dangerous annual tradition.
Pear Mango Passion: The Animal Testing Prank
The Alberto V05 shampoo-makers get a prank call about their animal testing policy. All the dog wants is some fruity conditioner and a good pampering!
Soft Drinks: Oversized and Out of Control!
How do you stop the extra-large soft-drink phenomenon in America? Maybe we can use it to our advantage...
Career Opportunities at 7-Eleven
A career opportunity announcement from 7-Eleven. New combat training and intensive care units make 7-Eleven the perfect career move.
Bigger is Better: Drinking or Driving
If you're going to drink and drive, be a man about it. Seriously, the bigger the better.
I Am the DUC Cafeteria
A first-person narrative in which a college student becomes the mind of his school's cafeteria, the Dobbs University Center (aka 'the DUC').
The Buck Stops Here, Mr. Authoritarian Administration!
A rallying call to apathetic students at small, pointless colleges everywhere: your Evil Administration is trying to turn your campus into a 'non-campus campus'!
Stop Sneezing: A Deadly New Research Study
A news/research article. You think cell phones are the cause of most traffic accidents? You must not know about the 'quadruple-sneeze.'