5 Reasons Why I Will Continue to Give All I Have Coaching Water Polo to Youth
I stay up nights worried that my boys will not strive to be anything more than the chairman of the board of directors for a Fortune 500 trans-Atlantic conglomerate.
Tag: Satire
To My Family: Yes, I’m Donating My Body to the College of Liberal Arts
I don’t need my dead body being jabbed into on a cutting board by doctors. I'd rather help the humanities with their flow of corpses.
What Your Favorite Children’s Book Characters Are Up To Now
When the Magic School Bus Program was canceled due to budget cuts, Ms. Frizzle took the opportunity to retire.
Trump University Announces Six New Courses for 2017
In "PS 102 - The New Racism" we'll show you how to dismiss any challenge to your racist views—no matter how valid—as liberal "political correctness" run amok.
The Only Thing We Have to Fear is Fear Itself—And Everything Else
What would be the countless ripples born by an administration that insists that the only thing to fear is not fear itself, but the consequences of hope?
‘Twas the Night Before Inauguration
The coffers were hung by Big Business with care, in hopes that St. Donald Trump soon would be there.
I Guess I’m Going to the Inauguration By Myself Again This Year
Asking a girl to the inauguration is a rite of passage for teens, but everybody says they're going "as a group" this year, and I can't find a stupid date.
The Founding Fathers on Donald Trump
In a PIC exclusive heavenly interview, the Founding Fathers react to Donald Trump's rise to the White House.
I’m a Republican and I Care About You
I used to be selfish and unconcerned with the plight of the unfortunate; that was back when I was a floppy-fingered liberal trying to "fight the power."
I Am a Giant Asteroid Heading Towards Earth After the Horror Show That Was 2016: Ask Me Anything!
Soon I'll be eliminating all life on Earth, and there's nothing I can do to change course unfortunately. Any questions?
I’m Regifting These Turtle Doves and You Know Why
What's the big deal with doves? They're not exactly the monarchy of the bird community. In fact, they're just bleached pigeons.
The Things I’d Eat for Love
I’m an adventurous soul who is unafraid to eat things - terrible, weird things - in order to prove my affections for a potential suitor.