Satire | Page 216 | Points in Case

Tag: Satire

Is there any way to make the heartburn shoot actual flames out of our mouths? That would be a nice party trick.

DON'T: Try bullet journaling. Look, you can't even keep up with a pre-crafted planner, you think creating your own will go any better?

Unlike Trump ushering children into his internment camps, Roosevelt likely said "please" and "thank you" before locking people up because of race.

Diane, your son is an expressionless stump on stage (no pun intended). I can’t stress this enough. He looks like a dead, lifeless boy.

Let me just grab an eraser for a quick correction: “pariah” is not how you spell “accountable.”

Power concedes nothing without demand, Janet. No longer will you say that I drank seven guitargaritas at the Tampa Hard Rock Hotel & then wet myself.

Doctors have diagnosed me with “early onset droopy ass syndrome,” contracted from getting your butt whooped too many times and is also irreversible

Looking for your perfect man? Try wandering around in the pouring rain, pretending you’re a beautiful lost tourist in need of directions.

The name starts with an A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N---yes, I see you nodded in agreement---I mean my psychic premonitions confirmed it.

We could utilize the approaching inferno and cook acres of lip-smacking omelette and turn it into an egg-themed pleasure park!

Visual Processing (1/20th of a Second): Jeff Bezos will register a piece of visual information, sending it up the ocular pathway to the brain.

You can Airbnb your crib to other infants and sleep in your playpen. Make sure to charge them for the blanket, the mobile, and the cleaning fee.