I stay up nights worried that my boys will not strive to be anything more than the chairman of the board of directors for a Fortune 500 trans-Atlantic conglomerate.
Despite the power a Badass Kween may have, the gossip of a village still stings. Stop being such backstabbing dicks, you guys.
Why squander this opportunity to be a real life millionaire; a king of kings! And I'll take a big, steaming dump on top of my empty-headed uncle's grave while I'm at it.
Prince Percy: "General Haggis, lovely rousing words, but I was wondering if I might also have a word with our men before the glorious fight..."
An app so royal it makes you feel like you're wearing nothing but a gold crown and a robe while hate fucking William the Conqueror in Piccadilly Circus and drinking a cup of Earl Grey.
Arbitrary waiting has become my drug. I feed my addiction by going to grocery stores and lining up without anything to purchase. Sometimes when I'm really hurting I go and camp out for the next Harry Potter movie.
We won the war, we drive on the right side of the road, and we could care less about Victoria Beckham. Clearly, the U.S. is better than England.