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Tag: Editors’ Picks
Quiz: Are You in Love with Your Barista?
Is it time to overthrow the self-doubt that has plagued your absurd, tender heart for all these months? Subtract eight points if your heart is neither tender nor absurd.
Re: The Jar I “Couldn’t” Open
I’m not sure if you are aware that my hands were a little wet when the pickle jar was passed to me.
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Your Short Story Submission’s Attachment
I’m not very good with computers, could you clarify what you mean by “you somehow attached your son to your previous email rather than your story”?
Not Another Regency Romance
Soon, I’ll have to decide which to marry. For now, we do a lot of courtship. One of them might stare at me, and I stare back.
This Noir Detective Definitely Skipped Dinner
She rolls into my office like one of those rotating hot dogs at 7-11. You know the ones, plastic-y but intriguing.
I Don’t Think My Eye Twitching Is Something to Worry About, or Do You?
No, of course not. It's no big deal. This happens to everyone. Right? Everyone has little involuntary muscle spasms sometimes.
Why I Couldn’t Play a Dead Body on “CSI: Miami”
Lower back pain that sets in after approximately half an hour of immobility.
It’s Great to Hear About Your Wedding, Even Though I’m a Monster Living in the Sewers
So where are you holding the wedding? Is it going to be in the sewers of Chicago?
Miss You, Man! Wanna Grab a Drink Sometime in the Next 30 Years?
My schedule should def get more flexible though after the conclusion of the next eight American presidential election cycles.
How I’ll Spend Every Minute of My Fifteen Minutes of Fame
Minute 4: I cut out all fake friends, they’re leeches.
So You’ve Reverted Back in Time to Your Sixth Grade Self Knowing Everything You Know Now…
You're eleven, and first thing's first: everybody is going to be super impressed that you, an eleven-year-old, are already reading Hemingway.