Here's the truth, "Harmonica Guy": I don't feel sorry for myself or my neighbors subjected to this audial torture, I feel sorry for the harmonica!
Hey Facebook! I know no one asked for this and none of you care... but I'm self-centered and annoying so get ready for my must-miss lists!
Rejecting the opportunity to Google duck penises all night on the internet just to have sex with someone is a slap in the face to Bill Gates.
Our select, highly motivated students enjoy small class sizes, and hands-on instruction from fearsome masked assassins and famous rock bands.
Feeling sad? Self-esteem finally bottomed out? Skip the Zoloft and go with today's leading anti-depressant regimen: rap music.
I Feel Like I Didn’t Really Take Advantage of Tom Petty as Much as I Should Have While He Was Still Alive
Here we are, only weeks into the part of my life when I remembered who Tom Petty was, and he was taken from me. Or should I say, that I was taken from him.
Every so often, abused dogs invade your television screen soundtracked by Sarah McLachlan's ubiquitous "In the Arms of an Angel." These are their stories.
It Is With a Heavy Heart and Definitely Not Under Legal Pressure That I am Closing My Billy Joel Themed Strip Club
Six weeks ago, when I opened my strip club Scenes From an Italian Breastaurant, I thought the sky was the limit. Sadly, reality caught up with us.
It's impossible to monitor your child 24/7, nor should you. But you should remain vigilant to certain signs so this epidemic doesn't affect your family's welfare.
Climate change wouldn't be such a big deal, Grandpa, if you'd stop telling me stories about enemy brush fire and start recycling.
In order to respect the artist's privacy, I can't disclose his/her name. However, I can describe in detail the piece of paper I found outlining their tour requests.
And the virtual gates are open! No way I am missing out on these tickets. Even if they sell out in minutes, I think I have my preparation down to a matter of seconds.