Robotics Team Totally Not Fucking the Robot
“Why does it have breasts?” Uh, women have breasts, okay? i-Rene is obviously female, duh! I mean we named her i-Rene.
Tag: Expressions
How to Let Your Child Know You’re Not Mad She Wants to Be an English Major, Just Disappointed
When she says she'll study “lesbian themes in Dickinson,” raise your eyebrows to remind her “your brother studied computer science and has a 401K.”
A Massive Storm is Barreling Down on my Family and Conversation with Them Has Never Been Easier
This storm has brought my brother out of the bomb shelter to face his family to then grab them and bring them back into the bomb shelter.
The Case for Watching “Three Men and a Baby” and “Baby’s Day Out” Back to Back
Baby vs. Single Men is the quintessential conflict of the time period, driving at the heart of America’s anxieties around wealth, gender, and cocaine.
If You Ever Think “I Wish I Was Dead,” Let Me Assure You: It’s More Correct to Use “Were”
I know that sometimes it seems like the world is unfair. But that’s why we invented language. These rules give structure to a chaotic world.
If You See Something, Say Something
If you see something, say something, but if you see it again, say something different. Talk about the weather or a book you just read. We get it.
Focus On Your Breath, Inhale Deeply, Now Exhale Slowly—Congratulations, You’ve Entered Manual Breathing Mode
Now that you're thinking about your breath every second of every day, your entire life from here on out is just one long yoga class. Congrats!
An Open Letter to the Friend Who Merely “Liked” My Happy Birthday Post on Facebook
I thought long and hard about what kind of birthday message to send you. Then I waited for what seemed like decades to receive your reply.
A Paranormal Investigator’s Guide to Ghost Hunting on Camera
So you're interested in a career in ghost hunting, huh? You should know that the cameras will capture everything, so acting is important.
How to Celebrate Christmas Without Letting Your Cousin Know You Want to Fuck
When Uncle Bob leads the family in grace, take the opportunity to open Tinder for some discreet, under-the-table swiping, but still visible to Derek.
Can You Escape the Footnotes of This Article?
Only those with great strength [1], wit [2], and magick [3] will navigate these footnotes [4] successfully. Can you find safe passage to the Citadel of Footnotes [5]?
Look, You’re Pivoting on My Narrative
It's as if to be part of the intelligentsia you have to say "look" before making your point. Look at what? Look where? You're a jerk.