The Scrambler: Your Nemesis at Every Local Amusement Park
The ride starts up and our car whips around and gathers speed. "HOLY SHIT we're heading straight for the fence!" my coffee conscience says.
Tag: Coffee
“Meet Cute” Moments Ruined By Ghosts
Boy meets girl and it's love at first sight. They both go to grab the same latte, but they can't because their barista has been DEAD FOR THE PAST SIXTEEN YEARS.
The Rise of the Coffee Machines
The company manual has everything from an optimistic “Career Progression” to shrug-worthy “Credit Card, Corporate” but nothinganything under “Coffee Machine, Operating Safely.”
If I Spend 3-4 Hours Writing and Editing This Article, Do You Think She Will Have Texted Me Back By Then?
What Michelle needs to realize is that I’m not here to waste my time. But until she texts back, that's exactly what I'll be doing.
No Surprise, You Just Screwed Up Your Starbucks Order Again
Crap! Crap! Crap! Brain, you idiot, what did you just do? You don't want soymilk. Why did you say that? Ok, you can fix this, THINK...
You’re Never Too Old for Drive-Thru Road Rage
His eyes were wild, and thin wisps of his silver hair shuddered in the wind. “Fuck you!” he shouted while thrusting a Crypt Keeper finger in my face.
Coffee Addicts Anonymous
For a while, there were no consequences for my coffee addiction. I started doing amazing in school, my parents remained in the dark, and I earned a full scholarship.
My Coffee is a Hard Pill to Swallow
I’ve never met anybody with a lower tolerance for caffeine than me. My taste buds also rank pretty low, so I drink the sludgiest, unsweetened, and cheapest java.
Five People to Mess with in Coffee Shops
From the Line Nazis to the Overly Loving Couple, here are five morning coffee shop crazies and the best ways to mess with them for your morning amusement.
What Your Starbucks Drink Order Says About You
I've worked at Starbucks now for the better part of four years, and over these years, I've developed what I call Starbucks ESP, which allows me to predict your order just by looking at you.
Starbucks All-You-Can-Eat Wi-Fi Porn Buffet
<p><img src="/files/u2/starbucks-porn-wi-fi.jpg" alt="Starbucks free Wi-Fi porn" title="Have you seen my nipples?" hspace="5" vspace="5" width="150" height="134" align="right" />Starbucks just announced that on July 1st, they will offer <a href="http://mashable.com/2010/06/14/starbucks-free-wifi/" title="Mashable.com: Starbucks to Offer Free Wi-Fi at All Stores Nationwide">unconditionally free Wi-Fi</a> (always capitalized, like "Internet" and "Mother Nature" and "BP"!) at all of their stores nationwide. I can only speculate potential reasons they didn't implement this earlier, and none of them hold much water (or should I say, coffee): </p>
The Five Types of Morning Coffee Crazies
A list of people you will find at the coffee preparation station and the best way to fuck with them for your own personal amusement.